You know, I find it really amusing when people ask me how I ‘survived’ at an “all-girls” school my whole life. Yes, okay, it might have been much nicer to have gone to a co-ed college, but my “all-girls” secondary school was top drawer (I went to Lahore Grammar School Defence, of course). LGS had its flaws, but it really did make me who I am today. For example, I developed my super awesome writing skills in the eighth grade (thank you, Teacher K), and polished them to perfection during my O Levels (I can write a killer research paper, btw). Anyway, my academic prowess wasn’t the only skill I developed at LGS. Back then, I had more than two friends, and together, we perfected the art of the ultimate sleepover.
It all started in our A levels, when we finally stumbled upon the freedom of entering and exiting the school premises at our own discretion (gone were the days of sitting on the same desk for 6 hours). Soon enough, we all started skipping our classes (the freedom was TMTH - too much too handle - and we were obviously going to abuse it), and spending our mornings at The Pancake Lounge drinking tea and smoking cigarettes. It was on one of these mornings that we made ‘The Discovery” - Mehek was allowed to stay as late as midnight and she had figured out a system whereby she could smoke in her bathroom afterhours. Ka-ching! It was time for our first ever sleepover.
A prehistoric slumber party that spiralled out of hand - no doubt a major reason for your parents' hesitation to let you go to one
***
WhatsApp conversation between Zara, Anam, Sanam, Mehek, and Bano at 2:35 A.M. Sunday morning. Present day.
Mehek: Hey guys! I’m back in Lahore for my sister’s wedding. Let’s do a sleepover please I miss you guys!
Sanam: Mehek! Omg I haven’t seen you in six years. Where are you these days?
Mehek: Living in Chicago now. It’s really nice, please visit.
Anam: Mehek! Yay you’re back! Yes, I’m in for sleepover.
Mehek: Okay cool. What about the other girls?
Zara: Lol everyone is married. They can’t sleepover. It’s just the five of us now.
Bano: I’m in. Let’s go for dinner before the sleepover.
Mehek: Okay perfect. Everyone is telling me about this place called Bamboo Union. Who has their number?
Zara: Just Google it.
Mehek: You can Google phone numbers in Lahore now?
Before a final verdict, say 'thank you' and celebrate as a group in front of the disgruntled parent (remember, it's hard to say no to a bunch of seemingly delusional, screaming girls)
***
Over the years, I have been a part of numerous “all-girls” sleepovers, and I have worked closely with my friends to perfect the art of planning and executing the five stages of sleepover success.
The Discovery: We all have that one friend who can stay out late and smoke in her bathroom. Her parents’ sleep early or her room is far enough from theirs for them to not notice anything. Find out who she is. Please note that your friend may not be aware that she is the one (or it might be you), in which case it is best if all participants of the sleepover go home late for a few days and smoke in their bathrooms to test the waters.
The Permission: Not everyone can get permission easily. In fact, some parents insist on being difficult even when they know that their child is ‘fomo-phobic’ i.e. fearful of the fear of missing out. Now, over the years, I have discovered that the best way to ask for permission is in person. Take as many sleepover participants as possible and plead in unison. Once the parent’s stubbornness starts flailing, and before a final verdict has been announced, say thank you and celebrate as a group in front of the disgruntled parent (remember, it’s hard to say no to a bunch of seemingly delusional, screaming girls).
The Scoring: This is the most important task, so give yourselves enough time to secure all narcotics (and yes, potato chips are just as important as the rest).
The Ultimate Discovery: Figure out a way to sneak out of the house as a group in the middle of the night and return before anyone notices you guys were gone. Unfortunately, I can’t tell you how to do this, as each house is unique, but I would advise you to exercise the tenets of stealth, courage, and innovation when devising your scheme for the ultimate escape.
The Feast: Last, but not the least, end the night by eating a lot of fatty foods and passing out.
The sheesha ban in Lahore never went down well with the city's cafe-hopping youth
***
WhatsApp conversation between Zara, Anam, Sanam, Mehek, and Bano at 1:15 P.M. Sunday afternoon. Present day (Continued).
Mehek: Okay guys, I’ve made a reservation for dinner. Is there anywhere we can go for Sheesha after, since we don’t have a curfew anymore?
Zara: Sheesha has been banned for years. I know you live in Chicago but you possibly can’t be that oblivious!
Mehek: I know Sheesha has been banned Zara. But since when did people start following the law here?
