No show
There was a rumour that Shahrukh Khan (SRK) had booked a hospitality box at The Oval in London for the ICC Champions Trophy cricket final between India and Pakistan, but in the end, he did a no-show. The reason for that, we hear, is that he was all set to attend had the finalists not been Pakistan. In the current xenophobic atmosphere in Hindu Rashtra India, SRK was advised that his presence would lead to controversy, he being a Muslim.
Sources say he will now reschedule his visit to London at his plastic surgeon’s convenience. In case readers don’t know, SRK has had comprehensive nasal and lip surgery – for obvious reasons. His intake of exotic substances knows no bounds, we hear, and he’s a chain smoker to boot.
FOOB at Walmart
Old Mush was sipping a drink and reminiscing about the good old days recently, we hear. He spoke to friends about aspects of his fascinating journey in the first decade of the millennium. On this occasion, he was recounting the Father of Our Bum’s escapades and how he was presented with irrefutable evidence that FOOB was sharing our nuclear secrets with would-be Bummers like Iran and Libya. Whereupon, Mush says he did a spontaneous “audit” before summoning FOOB for interrogation. He says one entry stated that FOOB had bought “springs” worth $ 8000 each and upon investigation, it was revealed that each spring had cost a mere $ 8 at – wait for it – Walmart! The price had been inflated exponentially. And lest we forget, PanamaLeaks also exposed FOOB as an owner of two offshore companies. But then in Pakistan, what’s sauce for the goose has never been sauce for the gander!