Mummy’s old cook Ilm Din said to her yesterday: ‘Begum Saab, ub mujhay please chutti dain.’ And Mummy said that you’ve just had chutti for God’s sake, you want chutti again? He cleared his throat, shuffled his feet and said ‘Thorhi chutti nahin, poori chutti.’ And then it recurred to Mummy that he was asking for retirement. All the colour rained out of Mummy’s face. ‘Hai,’ she thought, ‘who will cook my mullah gatawny soup now? Hai ub mera kya ho ga?’
Ilm Din has been with Mummy since don of time. He came before I was born even. He was in his teens then and worked as masaalchi under my Nani’s cook. Nani gave Ilm Din to Mummy as a wedding present. Mummy says she’s only ever had two men in her life, Daddy and Ilm Din.
Vaisay I must say Mummy’s also helped Ilm Din a lot. When he got contracts in his eyes, Mummy took him to the same doctor that she took Daddy. And she pinched in and helped him buy a house in Abbotabad where he comes from and when he went and had five daughters, first she got his wife’s tubes tied and then she helped him marry off the older two – gave dowries and all – and the younger three she helped to educate, and they’re all now working in firms. I think so one is a secretary and one works in the counts department and third is a telephone deceptionist. They’ve all made goods. They came to see Mummy the other day and sat on her sofa in their heels and handbags. Ilm Din doesn’t sit in front of Mummy. Never has.
Apparently it’s the daughters who’ve given Ilm Din the ultimatum that he can’t work any more because they can now support him and it’s embarrassing for them to say their father is a khansamah. So Mummy called in folds of tears and told me the whole sad story. Before hanging up she said: ‘Never make the mistake of helping anyone. It always black fires.’
Ilm Din has been with Mummy since don of time. He came before I was born even. He was in his teens then and worked as masaalchi under my Nani’s cook. Nani gave Ilm Din to Mummy as a wedding present. Mummy says she’s only ever had two men in her life, Daddy and Ilm Din.
Vaisay I must say Mummy’s also helped Ilm Din a lot. When he got contracts in his eyes, Mummy took him to the same doctor that she took Daddy. And she pinched in and helped him buy a house in Abbotabad where he comes from and when he went and had five daughters, first she got his wife’s tubes tied and then she helped him marry off the older two – gave dowries and all – and the younger three she helped to educate, and they’re all now working in firms. I think so one is a secretary and one works in the counts department and third is a telephone deceptionist. They’ve all made goods. They came to see Mummy the other day and sat on her sofa in their heels and handbags. Ilm Din doesn’t sit in front of Mummy. Never has.
Apparently it’s the daughters who’ve given Ilm Din the ultimatum that he can’t work any more because they can now support him and it’s embarrassing for them to say their father is a khansamah. So Mummy called in folds of tears and told me the whole sad story. Before hanging up she said: ‘Never make the mistake of helping anyone. It always black fires.’