SUCH GUP: Delusionary diktat

SUCH GUP: Delusionary diktat

Delusionary diktat

The word from within The Great Khan’s horde is that his shrinking cabal of advisors veers madly from sane advice (rarely) to delusionary diktat. The latest example is the ordinance issued to curb freedom of expression. We hear the authors of the same, upon hearing The Khan roaring in fury, were none other than Chaudhry Einstein and that Farigh Fellow. Both have been on loan from The Boyz to shore up The Khan’s ranks, but both realizing that The Boyz are trying to beat a retreat, have thrown in their lot with The Great Khan. And what better way of doing it than to feed into the prevalent paranoia and clamp down further on the press?

On the other hand, we hear that Chaudhry Einstein cautioned The Khan when he wanted to arrest more journalists following the detention of Mr Beg. Apparently, Chaudhry Einstein cautioned The Khan that more arrests, particularly of internationally renowned journos, would draw worldwide attention to the issue. On top of this, the firanghis made it known to the government that they were in danger of losing that precious GSP+ status which brings in those much-needed dollars in forex, if they persisted with the draconian anti-press law. So it continues, this shambolic “governance” from day to day, until the good Lord has mercy on us all.

Bitter pill

Our mole reports Sheeda Tully made a private confession the other day. Said he to a friend, “I hope The Boyz don’t insist on making me eat the bitter pill of having to vote for The Man of Steel and his Talented Bro” (or words to that effect). Sheeda said dispiritedly, we hear, that he was over 70 years old and that it was too late for him to shift loyalties yet again. Not that he doesn’t want to, mind you! It’s just that he doesn’t have the stomach and energy for it anymore, according to our mole. He reportedly said that he would now like to go down with The Great Khan’s ship, if that is indeed what The Boyz have in mind for the future. Ever the retainer of Gate No. 4, as Sheeda Tully proudly claims.

Best buddies

Guess who’s best buddies with Her Majesty’s viceroy in our realm. You might well expect it to be some human rights crusader or that rare politician with an unblemished democratic record. Or even an Oxon or Cantab educated journo. All of the above are imbued with the values of the European Enlightenment and a Westminster style democracy. But contrary to expectation, they are not the objects of the Viceroy’s affections. It’s reportedly none other than No. 1, that self-appointed arbiter of our destiny.