What a welcome escape from the heated atmosphere at home – ahem, if you know what I mean. Don’t get me wrong. I have been told NOT to split up with anyone before the Elections. And I have to keep my promise. But, I mean – women!

Women are extremely unreasonable and they take everything personally. There was this pregnant woman sitting next to me on the flight from Islamabad to London. I thought I should try and win her over for the elections, so I told her that her pregnancy looked very nice. She didn’t like that. Then I tried again. I said I’m an open book and I like doing public musings about important issues, like expressing solidarity with half of Pakistan while its pregnant. She didn’t like that either. Then I said it reminds me of my favourite film “The Sound of Musing”.

And then someone whispered in my ear that since I was doing a fundraiser in the UK, why don’t I take another VIP along, who’s been very successful at raising funds for himself. I said ok, but who do you have in mind. They said Asif Zardari. I said ok, if you insist, but there’s no way I’m going to offer him the vacant Secretary Generalship of the PTI. And he will have to pay heed to what I have to say.

Incidentally, what is that I have to say?

They tell me Zardari is a changed man. And that he’s changed for the better. All this is very muddling for me because I’d like to continue the way I’ve always been, and not have to make any new assessments or judgments or other such difficult things. Talking of judgments, I’m a bit confused about the judges. First they were restored, or was it reheated? Then they were retreated. Now I’m told they’re resurgent. It’s too much for me. I think I’ll have to write it all down on a piece of paper and keep it in my pocket and remember it carefully.

The thing is, if Zardari can change, so can I. But the question is: what shall I change into?

Im the Dim