Growing resentment

Our mole in The Great Khan’s horde says there is growing resentment against his Accountability Czar SA. It appears the only other person to give The Khan a pre-cabinet briefing, apart from his right hand AK of KPK, is none other than the Accountability Czar. These briefings happen 15 or 20 minutes before the cabinet meeting convenes and it was in one such that Zulf The Wolf was undone. BTW, Zulf The Wolf is also known as ZAB II – ZAB The First being the martyred father of Pakistan’s democracy.

Apparently apart from ZAB II, many powerful personages have been running Rings around The Khan, amongst them a retired but still influential Khaki and the Guv of Takht Lahore. The Accountability Czar whispered this information in The Great Khan’s ear one fine day and set the ball rolling.

Forgive & forget?

Not a chance! We refer to the conspiracy theory that’s doing the rounds regarding Mr Bean’s belated entry into the Punjab Assembly. Rumour has it that he’s being strategically placed to provide an alternative to The Great Khan’s nominee on Takht Lahore. And that when the change happens, Mr Bean will have the blessings of The Man of Steel. That would involve a huge amount of forgive and forget, which is unlikely to happen. There are many reasons for the parting of ways between Mr Bean and The Man of Steel but the icing on the cake was the former’s failure to condole the demise of the latter’s lady in person. He went to the funeral prayers at the Regent’s Park mosque – because he happened to be in London at the time of the lady’s death in the UK – but did not show up in person to condole at home when The Man of Steel was paroled on that occasion. We hear The Man of Steel’s Talented Bro (who is an old friend of Mr Bean’s) urged his friend to condole in person with the bereaved but was unable to persuade him. From that day hence, The Man of Steel and Mr Bean’s relationship became steadily more irreparable. Therefore, it’s safe to say that Mr Bean will not be The Man’s candidate for Takht Lahore. There will be no forgive and forget.