Engaged!
Rumour has it that Mr Bean is unreachable and unapproachable at the best or worst of times. And this is because he doesn't own a mobile phone. Our mole says this is not true and that indeed Mr Bean is in possession of a cell phone, except that its ring tone is as if it's engaged and all callers are put off, except those Mr Bean wants to hear from.
How civilised!
There's a famous Isloo park where senior civil servants take their evening walks and socialise. On the morning of Independence Day, August 14, a smart young JCO asked the park's caretaker if he could help vacate the park for General Bobby's helicopter landing. The caretaker demurred, saying he felt awkward asking senior government officials to make way for Gen Bob. "I suppose I'll have to do it myself", said the JCO. So he stood on the walking track and politely asked the officials as they passed if they could make way. Everyone obligingly scurried off and the park was ready for use as a helipad. How civilised of our senior civil servants.
Hub of terror
A young businessman ran into an old college buddy in London recently, who told him he'd served in Isloo from 2011 to 2012. "What were you doing there?" asked the businessman. The friend replied, "now that the mission's done, I can tell you that I was with the MI5, working with your boyz to thwart possible threats to the London Olympics 2012, emanating from Pakistan". The businessman looked askance at his friend who quipped, "after all, your country's a famous hub of terror."