The woodwork

More than any other political party, The Great Khan’s horde is an assortment of competing interests and squabbling individuals. At times, the worms come creeping out of the woodwork. It now transpires, according to sources close to our constitutional head of state, that he was in no mood to occupy that titular office. His friend says he was dragged kicking and screaming to the top slot. He wanted an effective and important ministry but The Great Khan was adamantly against it. It also emerges from informants close to The Khan’s once most generous donor, and recently turned foe, that he is convinced The Khan was instrumental in his disqualification back in 2017. It’s also obvious that his recent woes come from falling out of favour with The Khan and Her Holiness. We also hear that The Boyz were set on making Chaudhry Einstein the Min of Int, but The Khan had other ideas and couldn’t bear to see the clever Chaudhry Einstein in the second most important ministry after the premiership. And so on, ad nauseam.

A fine art

Suspicious of disposition though he is, The Great Khan is also susceptible to flattery. We hear the most successful in this regard is a highly “educated” member of the cupboard, once a bureaucrat, who excels at this fine art and has become famous for it in throughout Isbad. Lest we forget, he is so consummate a flatterer that he had all of The Khan’s predecessors convinced of his loyalty too. And by all, we mean all – from The Brothers Sharifov, to Gen Mush, to the late lamented Big Ben.

With your kind permission

Yes, The Great Khan’s cohorts have to seek his permission before they engage in socializing with his opponents, even though the cohorts may have personal relationships going back decades. We’ve heard of a powerful advisor whose mother took ill. A distant kinsman of his, belonging to the opposite side, called to ask after the lady and expressed his desire to visit her. Please wait, he was told, until the advisor checked with his boss, got a nod and gave his kinsman the all clear.