Being grounded means that someone is a sensible human being who has the ability to stay composed and remain connected to nature and his core values. Grounding is also considered a mindfulness technique to become spiritually connected with oneself, which provides an exceptional way to stay calm when facing stressful circumstances. The expression itself stems from the notion of keeping one’s feet planted on the ground in the face of psychosocial adversity. Despite external chaos, well-grounded people neither succumb to stress by becoming infinitely despondent nor let their egos run out of control by convincing themselves that they are better than everyone else. Its best analogy to date has been, “Be like a tree. Stay grounded. Connect with your roots. Turn over a new leaf. Bend before you break. Enjoy your unique natural beauty. Keep growing.”
We live in a society where we often identify ourselves with assets as a statement of our success. This is frequently measured by the kind of job we do, the type of car we drive, size of the house we live in, and the number of our friends in high places. The harsh reality is that we are not guaranteed anything in this life; therefore, despite having the best intentions to achieve certain targets, we may not accomplish them. We get disheartened when we don’t achieve what we had imagined and can’t accept reality when it appears to be different from the one we had tickled our fantasies with. Such are the dynamics of our ego, as it operates on two fundamental extremes: self-pity or self-importance. A person grounded in awareness, however, does not fall victim to the sense of entitlement emerging from the ego. He knows that the obligation to become who he is means that despite setbacks he would grow and fully bloom as high and as strong as he was created to be. It is not laudable for his life-tree to wither, shrink, and disappear just like that.
As human beings, our primitive instinct is to seek approval from others to feed our egos. We can easily become addicted to others’ approval even though we may remain in denial about it. For example, there are many benefits of social media, but it has enslaved us to the culture of “likes” and how many “followers” we have. Reaching out to others for acceptance in the form of such expectations might give us short-lived confidence, but we become anxious or sad when we stop receiving these compliments. Seeking validation from external sources sets us up for disillusionment unless we are completely grounded on the inside. During our efforts of self-promotion, we often leave ourselves exposed to personal attacks and criticism. The “trauma” that we experience in pursuing better approval ratings, may lead to despair because we operate from a place of ego that puts great emphasis on self-importance. To stay grounded, we need to develop the ability to step outside of ourselves and focus on helping others; only that would liberate us from being too self-absorbed. Serving other people is a long-term investment in our wellbeing; when at peace with ourselves, we accept that it is normal if everyone does not like us.
Pride is an illusion that distracts us from facing objective reality. If we are humble and grounded in nature's wisdom, our mind can escort us safely through the barriers of naivety and ignorance. We are so quick to judge other people based on their looks, titles or social status that we forget that every human being has the potential to teach us something. There is always room for improvement, and we have so much to learn from others. To avoid feeling proud, grounded people accept negative feedback and are weary of arrogance that comes after an achievement. They pursue goals to fulfil an ambition and not to satisfy their egos or to feel superior to other people. Their triumphs come from the development of their character and the process of achievements, and not so much from the outcomes. Instead of aiming to become somebody, they focus on developing good behaviours and character though humility, “When I stopped searching for home within others and lifted the foundations of home within myself, I found there were no roots more intimate than those between a mind and body that have decided to be whole.”
As human beings, our primitive instinct is to seek approval from others to feed our egos. We can easily become addicted to others’ approval even though we may remain in denial about it
Most of our time and daily energy is spent in horizontal thinking, which may leave us in a pile of dead leaves. Never keeping ourselves to the present, we keep recalling the past experiences or anticipate the future scenarios. Since staying in the present hurts, we choose to wander in the times zones that do not belong to us. We try to flee the present because it is either too distressing to cope or too enjoyable to let go. Unfortunately, thinking about the past can only makes us feel guilty because we cannot undo or re-arrange historical incidents. Similarly, we have no control over the future, except causing ourselves angst by thinking too much about it. The fruits of life can only grow when our roots are planted firmly in the present. To become grounded, we need to start living in the present because past will take care of itself, and we will cross the future bridges when we get to them. There is no point dying an unlived life in fear of falling of a future cliff or trying to save the world that does not exist anymore. We should try living in the moment by clearing our own patch in the dense forest of life; then we will hear our own song that our destiny is in our hands.
As children, most of the popular stories we read, seem to have a lived-happily-ever-after ending. Unfortunately, this is not how things work in the real world. Continuously looking on the bright side can interfere with finding the wisdom that lies in the darkness. We feel stressed when we don’t want to admit that we’ve outgrown our current job or our relationship has run its course. We shove the awareness of such issues into our subconscious, which causes restlessness. At that point, it is easy to think, “Whenever the cloud of ego threatens to engulf me, I remind myself of my roots. It helps keeping my feet on the ground” but difficult to manage because everything is interconnected. For example, our interaction with nature has its own dynamics - logging can change the weather, pollution makes water dirty, and human activity cause habitat fragmentation. Nonetheless, when it comes to our wellbeing, small interventions in lifestyles can be most effective. If we wish to change the future, to be conscious is to be with an experience as it’s unfolding, rather than thinking about how we would like to change it. Life is to be experienced, not fought against. We need to take charge of our lives so that we alter the quality of our experience, for instance, regarding global warming, which is heading our way.
Freud wrote that there are three impossible professions: Governing, Teaching, and Healing. I am guilty of pursuing all three. I keep myself grounded by unashamedly relying on my cultural beliefs, and working out solutions for ordinary as well as exceptional problems. I had learned in my early childhood how the universe is created from five essential elements: earth, water, air, fire, and aether (space). This concept has stayed in my subconscious, as I always imagine that we have a universe within ourselves that mimics the universe outside. We are part earth and water, and part air and fire, with some salt and dust scattered in between. Everyone is a part of an interconnected cosmic divine system. Everybody has a little bit of man, woman, and beast in them. None of us are just black or white, or never wrong and always right. No one exists without contradictions. Everybody has good and bad powers working with them, against them, and within them. To stay grounded, we need to hold on to whatever is good even if it is a handful of dust. To hold on to what we believe in, even if it is a bush that stands by itself. To hold on to what we must do even if it is a stretch. No other place is better than where we are; and no one else has the answer, “At the centre of your being, you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want.”
Science has moved on from ancient philosophical notions, but we can still use rudimentary concepts to claw out of psychological holes. In my defence, I can quote Durkheim who argued that each culture has a network of self-referential logic and concepts that create legitimate mythological truths that have no reality in the physical world, but are grounded within the reality of respective social framework. Nonetheless, there is tangible evidence to suggest that by being close to earth/nature, remarkable improvement in physical and mental health has been achieved. Similarly, living close to a forest, having a small back garden, an office plant or even looking at greenery outside the window, can improve life satisfaction and well-being. It is proposed that such green spaces remind us of an oasis in the desert, which is embedded in our evolutionary memories as a sign of joy and nourishment. After rain, a soothing scent (petrichor) is created by a chemical (geosmin) from bacteria in the soil; it has been shown to boost our mood. To lower levels of mild depression and anxiety, there is anecdotal evidence for using the earth as grounding strategy. I am not sure how it works, but it requires coming into direct contact with the earth by walking barefoot on grass, sand, soil, or even concrete, which “grounds” you to the earth and transfers its natural healing energy to your body.
It is a cliché to say how we love the feeling of fresh air on our faces and the wind blowing through our hair. However, breathing fresh air has an amazing capacity to help us feel grounded. Breathing actually is the bridge that connects life to consciousness, and unites our bodies with our thoughts. Therefore, the way we breathe is often perceived as a window into our state of mind by psychiatrists. Whenever the mind is scattered, we can use our breathing pattern to manipulate our parasympathetic nervous system, and get either more or less oxygen into our brains as required. When we get stressed, we tend to breathe shallow and fast as part of our, in this case, misperceived “fight or flight” evolutionary response. If unchecked, this steadily increases the level of anxiety and can result in a panic attack, mimicking a heart attack. If we try and breathe differently, by using our diaphragm, we can not only lower our blood pressure and anxiety, but also reduce the level of stress and improve our immune function. If concentrating on breathing like this makes you feel anxious, you can use air on your face or blow it over your body to feel calmer. Opening a window, cross-ventilating houses, and getting outdoors, can also help us take our minds away from worries, and feel grounded.
It is said that thousands have lived without love, not one without water. Water is the driving force of nature, and is often equated with being a sign of life on earth and other planets. Up to 60% of human body is water; human life cannot be imagined without having access to drinking water and using water for our other daily needs. Hydration helps restore energy level, assists with digestion, prevents headaches and hangovers, and aids weight loss, among many other human necessities. There is also evidence to suggest that “blue spaces” or natural bodies of water, e.g., lakes, rivers, and oceans, have huge benefits for our health and wellbeing. Studies have shown that people living close to blue spaces, have reduced risk of anxiety, stress, and cardiovascular disease. This is due to these so called blue spaces encouraging people to be more physically active, connect with one another, and feel more grounded as a result. People also find that listening to the sound of natural water and looking at the ocean, public fountains or even water features inside buildings, is relaxing and life enhancing.
It seems that we are born with a metaphorical box of matches inside us but we can't light those by ourselves. Therefore, we have adopted a tribal character where we sit around campfires, to eat and socialise with others. This gives us a sense of belonging, as we get connected with one another. Similarly, some of us believe that fire reflects God’s light (wisdom) - an agent of purity and a symbol of righteousness. They point out how the fire always burns upwards and cannot itself be polluted. They further illuminate that their tradition has nothing to do with worship of ashes, but the “transmission” of fire. We also aspire for warmth as a comforting element in the shape of a warm bath, a hot cup of tea or coffee, or even a soft blanket to keep us grounded. We light scented candles to relax as they seem to activate pleasant memories in the limbic area of our brains. Fire is also associated with cookery and the anticipation of delicious and nutritious food. There are virtual platforms with videos of flickering fires that people find relaxing by focusing on the light. Finally, life can sometimes feel like living in a house that is on fire, with no fire department to call for help; the only way out is to elevate one’s self to ascend through the roof.
Human beings have always been social creatures who need human connection to keep well. However, they also need a space of their own to connect with others or with themselves in a time of their own choosing. It is, therefore, important for them to have ownership of physical space they can call their own, and use it to socialise with others on their own terms. It could also be a mental or emotional space, away from others where they could hibernate or meditate until they are ready to engage with the world again. Unsurprisingly, there is consistent evidence to prove that the presence of high-quality green spaces is associated with lower odds of social vulnerability, and increased road traffic exposure is associated with higher odds of social and emotional vulnerability. When we think about space and the universe, we can take time to gaze at the night sky or learn about other planets or the cosmos itself; this promotes a sense of miracle and inspiration that makes us count our blessings and feel rejuvenated. It also reminds us that our own space, the earth, is like a heavenly seed planted in space; the darkest and yet the richest soil in the universe.
Modern life can be so stressful. Many wonder how to stay grounded when the world is falling apart around them. Staying grounded is actually an outcome of a steadily sensible and healthy living in the biopsychosocial paradigm. We cannot choose our parents but we do have a say in how we avail the various opportunities, which come our way throughout our lives. You may or may not agree with my simple formula of staying grounded via ancient Greek philosophy, but it is better than watching people trudge through their daily routines aimlessly. It would be better, for example, if they have “fire” in their bellies; a fire that is more alive than they are - brighter, hotter, and more sure of where it wants to go. I keep dreaming of a future that is aligned with the nature, when doctors will not prescribe medicine, but advise patients in the proper use of food, water, fresh air and exercise. Meanwhile, if you are feeling ungrounded and in an urgent need to rebuild, you need to seek social surgery, or you may access Milieu Therapy to learn healthier ways of thinking, interacting, and behaving in a larger society. The latter is supposed to be a therapeutic method where people are surrounded by a safe and structured community in which their daily activities and interactions are the means of receiving therapy.