Thanks God, they’ve come. I think so they came early morning because I was told by the guards at the gate – the ones who play Ludo all day — that they came ‘at first time’. Chalo, I thought to myself, at least someone in this country is punctual and has a scent of duty. Who is punctual? Oho baba, the sheeps, who else? They’ve come all the ways from Sharkpur, na, to do their religious duty. What duty? Uff, now even this I have to tell you? Of getting slaughtered for Big Eid, what else?
Every year The Old Bag (bhai, Janoo’s mother) sends us two sheeps for qurbani. I may be sophisty and modern in everything else but in this thing I’m tau totally trad. In fact, it’s the one thing – the only thing – I have in common with The Old Bag. Unlike Janoo who likes giving money to orphans instead of doing sacrifice, I insist kay baba jo marzi ho jaye, I’m tau doing sheeps as Allah Mian has ordered. As I was explaining to Kulchoo, aik tau you’re doing your religious duty so getting lots of savvabs, and two by making sacrifice you are keeping people’s bad looks away. A little bit like taking out a year’s insurance against accidents and things. Without paying. So win-win na? ‘Unless,’ he said, ‘You happen to be the sheep’. ‘Hai the sheep don’t mind one bid!’ I said to him. ‘You should see them in the back garden. They’re all dressed up, wearing garlands and paper crowns and enjoying and all. I think so they’ve both had a bottle of Coke even. The cook gave it to them. He said it was good for their hazma, digestion’. ‘I seriously doubt if they’ve adorned themselves with garlands and crowns.’
‘So baba, I also don’t do my own manny and paddy, but that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy them’. ‘You wouldn’t if it was in preparation for your slaughter.’
‘Haw Kulch, that’s how nice boys speak to their Mummies? Anyways, they’re going straight to heaven’. ‘Who? The Mummy’s?’ Haw hai! Just look at him…
Every year The Old Bag (bhai, Janoo’s mother) sends us two sheeps for qurbani. I may be sophisty and modern in everything else but in this thing I’m tau totally trad. In fact, it’s the one thing – the only thing – I have in common with The Old Bag. Unlike Janoo who likes giving money to orphans instead of doing sacrifice, I insist kay baba jo marzi ho jaye, I’m tau doing sheeps as Allah Mian has ordered. As I was explaining to Kulchoo, aik tau you’re doing your religious duty so getting lots of savvabs, and two by making sacrifice you are keeping people’s bad looks away. A little bit like taking out a year’s insurance against accidents and things. Without paying. So win-win na? ‘Unless,’ he said, ‘You happen to be the sheep’. ‘Hai the sheep don’t mind one bid!’ I said to him. ‘You should see them in the back garden. They’re all dressed up, wearing garlands and paper crowns and enjoying and all. I think so they’ve both had a bottle of Coke even. The cook gave it to them. He said it was good for their hazma, digestion’. ‘I seriously doubt if they’ve adorned themselves with garlands and crowns.’
‘So baba, I also don’t do my own manny and paddy, but that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy them’. ‘You wouldn’t if it was in preparation for your slaughter.’
‘Haw Kulch, that’s how nice boys speak to their Mummies? Anyways, they’re going straight to heaven’. ‘Who? The Mummy’s?’ Haw hai! Just look at him…