‘Winters is coming’, I said to Kulchoo, with a sliver of excitement at all the balls, shaadis, parties vaghera coming my ways. ‘No, it’s not,’ he said, looking up for two seconds from his Eye phone. ‘Winter’s been cancelled, in case you hadn’t noticed’. ‘Who told you?’ ‘I’ve seen it myself. And I’ve read it in various news sites online.’ ‘Which news sights? What they are saying? Who’s cancelled winters? The Daesh? The Talibans? The army? Who?’
‘Haven’t you noticed how warm it’s been? It’s November and we’re still using our ACs. It’s 25C in Italy and they’re suffering the worst drought they’ve had in nearly a century. Forest fires have been raging in California, Spain, Portugal. Global warming is here. It’s happening.’
‘Oh global warning!’ I giggled with relieve. ‘You meant the snow-type winters in Itly Shitly? For one second I thought you were being serious and that parties and balls in Lahore had been cancelled by some killed joy beardos. You tau nearly gave me a heart attack, Kulchoo.’
‘I am being serious! There’s nothing more serious than the destruction of the planet’. ‘Oh shweetoo, you think too much. You mustn’t think, you know. It’s bad for you’. ‘Better that than not think at all, and be like you.’
‘Haw Kulchoo, that’s not nice. Has your father taught you to say like this? Or your Dadi?’ ‘I’m sorry if I sounded rude. But you don’t read or think…’
‘But I’m thinking all the time.’ ‘So what do you think about?’
‘Like yesterday I was thinking how sweet these sons of politicos are who gift crores and crores to their families. And how sweet their cooks and maalis are who buy shares for crores and crores in their companies. And then I thought, will Kulchoo gift me crores and crores like the politicians’ sons do? And then I thought, hai poor wives of politicians, whose declared value of jewellery is only a few lakhs, becharis … so you see Kulch, inside my head is a world wind of thoughts that’s raging all the time. Just like the stroms in California…’
‘Haven’t you noticed how warm it’s been? It’s November and we’re still using our ACs. It’s 25C in Italy and they’re suffering the worst drought they’ve had in nearly a century. Forest fires have been raging in California, Spain, Portugal. Global warming is here. It’s happening.’
‘Oh global warning!’ I giggled with relieve. ‘You meant the snow-type winters in Itly Shitly? For one second I thought you were being serious and that parties and balls in Lahore had been cancelled by some killed joy beardos. You tau nearly gave me a heart attack, Kulchoo.’
‘I am being serious! There’s nothing more serious than the destruction of the planet’. ‘Oh shweetoo, you think too much. You mustn’t think, you know. It’s bad for you’. ‘Better that than not think at all, and be like you.’
‘Haw Kulchoo, that’s not nice. Has your father taught you to say like this? Or your Dadi?’ ‘I’m sorry if I sounded rude. But you don’t read or think…’
‘But I’m thinking all the time.’ ‘So what do you think about?’
‘Like yesterday I was thinking how sweet these sons of politicos are who gift crores and crores to their families. And how sweet their cooks and maalis are who buy shares for crores and crores in their companies. And then I thought, will Kulchoo gift me crores and crores like the politicians’ sons do? And then I thought, hai poor wives of politicians, whose declared value of jewellery is only a few lakhs, becharis … so you see Kulch, inside my head is a world wind of thoughts that’s raging all the time. Just like the stroms in California…’