Nuggets from the Urdu press

These nuggets are culled from the Urdu press. They are summarised here without comment. Absurd or ridiculous, tft takes no responsibility for them.

Nuggets from the Urdu press

Expert on democracy


Daily Jang (03 Oct 2016) reported that former president General (retd) Pervez Musharraf expressed his opinion that democracy was not suitable for Pakistan, given the lack of checks and balances in the country’s institutions. He went on to state, among other things, that the United States ‘used’ and then ‘betrayed’ Pakistan.

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“But first, I’ve gotta take a selfie!”


Daily Jang (04 Oct 2016) reported that the Chairman of the Pakistan Tehreek e Insaaf (PTI) Imran Khan was supposed to attend a high-level meeting of parliamentarians regarding the ongoing Pakistan-India tensions, but he sent Shah Mehmood Qureshi in his stead. The PTI leader himself went to Nathia Galli with friends for a chat and some selfies, according to the report.

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“We the people…”


Daily Jang (05 Oct 2016) reported that PML-Q leader Ch. Pervez Elahi stated that the Pakistani people will stop the breathing of those who dare to stop Pakistan’s water supply. He went on to say that the Pakistani people will not be as soft on India as the Pakistani rulers are.

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“Closed for business – nationwide”


According to daily Nawa e Waqt (03 Oct 2016), the leader of the opposition in the Punjab Assembly from the PTI, Mian Mahmood ur Rasheed, stated that if closing down the federal capital proves insufficient to achieve the goal of bringing down the government, the whole country will be closed down next.

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“One Thakur is good for a thousand Thackerays!”


Daily Dunya (04 Oct 2016) quoted famed stage actor Iftikhar Thakur as saying that he alone can take on thousands of Bal Thackeray’s from India. He made these remarks at the Wagha border, where he had gone dressed in ‘commando’ fatigues to raise the spirits of Pakistani youth.

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“Free films: if only you would close off the competition!”


It was reported in daily Dunya (04 Oct 2016)  that senior stars, filmmakers and professionals from the Pakistani film industry held a press conference in Lahore, where they called for a ban on Indian films. Among them was writer and director Nasir Adeeb, who stated that he would be willing to write scripts for free. He also called upon other film industry professionals to provide their services for free.

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Jingoism: an offer he can’t refuse?


Daily Express (06 Oct 2016) quoted Bollywood star Imran Khan as saying that he could no longer dare to offer his views on whether or not Pakistani stars should be allowed to act in India. He said that if you speak your mind, ruffians will come to your house and beat you up, and that is precisely what he fears.

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Ball-tampering?


Daily Express (07 Oct 2016) quoted the PPP leadership as saying that PTI activists should rid themselves of their leader Imran Khan. The PPP alleged that the PTI leader was known for ball-tampering during his cricket career, and that he was doing the same in politics.

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Star wars?


Daily Express (08 Oct 2016) reported that the Interior Minister of India, Rajnath Singh, stated that by December 2018, his country would have set up a laser fence all along the Pakistan-India border.

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“No veggies for the Pakistanis!”


Daily Express (09 Oct 2016) reported that Indian traders, following in the hawkish steps of Prime Minister Narendra Modi, have decided to stop exporting vegetables to Pakistan. Traders from the Indian state of Gujarat, in particular, are reported to have stopped sending supplies of tomato and green chilies to Pakistan.