Ittefaq Nama

Ittefaq Nama
Krachi is drawning. Sorrow (afsos). Shbaz Saab called me and said Bhaijan, I am going to Krachi to express solidarity with the citizens. I told him yes please go because you know how to swim and Allah Almighty is all-knowing so He has slacted you. He was very upset. He said, “Please don’t use that word slacted. You know we are all allergic to it”. I said, “oh I am so sorry. But please take life jacket along and do you need a raft? I have also heard”, I told him, “that Sheikh Rasheed is going at the same time. That is excellent because he can be used as inflated dinghy. He is so full of hot air, he will never drown so you can cling to him if need be, God forbid”. Although haw Shbaz Saab will get his arms around Sheikh Rasheed is mystery to me. Girth is too large and Shbaz Saab’s arms are too short.

I dearly wish Altaf Bhai was in Karachi. Not only is he also huge big raft, full of hot air, but he has that great blassing – hugely inflated ego. Shbaz Saab would be in no danger of drawning in Karachi if Altaf Bhai’s inflated ego had been on the scene. I am sending inflatable arm-bands for my little brother, just in case. And a tube for around the tummy, goggles and flippers. As well as of course, swimsuit by Versace.

I have heard that President She Gin Ping is not coming to Pakistan. It could be because Shah Mahmood Qureshi has annoyed Chinese too, inshallah. And by the way, it is a He not a She. Only his name is a She. And also middle name is taubah taubah banned substance of alcohol. Mraan Khan should make sure that when coming to Islamic Republic of Pakistan, President She Gin Ping should please change name to She Shop Ping. It is reality of life known to all men and also not haraam.

Anyways, man proposes and God disposes. Ya Allah, please dispose off this Republic of U-Turnia. Please dispose off this Government-e-Manhoosia.