Nuggets from the Urdu press

These nuggets are culled from the Urdu press. They are summarised here without comment. Absurd or ridiculous, tft takes no responsibility for them.

Nuggets from the Urdu press

“Honest cops not needed”


According to Daily Jang (03 April 2017), leaders of the ruling PML-N were quoted as saying that the PPP does not want honest policemen in Sindh, but that it would prefer domestic account-keepers (munshis) instead.


“A Qatari might come in handy!”


It was reported in Daily Jang (03 April 2017) that PTI chief Imran Khan said that Asif Ali Zardari should also arrange for a Qatari to back him, because once the Panama investigation is complete, the PPP leaders will also have to answer about the Surrey residence.


Time travel by force?


Daily Nawa-i-Waqt (04 April 2017) quoted a leader of the Difa-i-Pakistan Council as saying that if India did not mend its ways, it would need to be pushed back to where it was in 1948.


Reassuring words?


According to Daily Nawa-i-Waqt (05 April 2017), Maulana Sami-ul-Haq stated that he was opposed to Taliban who target innocent people, and that the Taliban stood alone today against irreligious forces (la-deeni quwwatein). He went on to emphasise that standing up to imperialism was an obligation.


“Who doesn’t?”


Daily Dunya (06 April 2017) reported that in a meeting of the National Assembly’s Standing Committee for Law and Justice, MNA Shagufta Jumani remarked that everyone drinks alcohol but nobody admits to it. Committee member Arif Alvi also added that powerful people in the country drink alcohol, and that something which cannot be implemented should not be put in the Constitution.


Behind the times?


Daily Dunya (07 April 2017) reported that while dangerous criminals had the use of 3G and 4G internet connections, the police units trying to stop them still lack contemporary technology.  A police official was quoted as saying that 3G and 4G mobile locators had been requested several times but not provided.


Same old?


It was reported in Daily Dunya (07 April 2017) that even though the police uniform had been changed in Punjab, attitudes towards policing remain apparently unchanged. Reportedly, the Mochi Gate police station in Lahore charged a six-year-old with theft of money and cellular phones. Little Mustafa reportedly took a day off from school to come to court to face charges under the supervision of his brother and uncle. The child reportedly understood little of the proceedings, and was observed playing around in court.


A different sacrifice


According to Daily Express (09 April 2017), the Prime Minister’s advisor for aviation Sardar Mehtab Ahmed Khan remarked that Pakistan International Airlines (PIA) does not require the sacrifice of black goats for good luck, but instead that of the black sheep within it.


In the heat of the moment?


Daily Express (09 April 2017) reported that PTI leader and MNA Arif Alvi had a heated exchange with a police official during a protest by residents of the Defence and Clifton areas of Karachi against stoppage of water supplies. The PTI leader reportedly grabbed the policeman by the neck during the altercation.


Laissez-faire?


Daily Express (09 April 2017) reported that bandits robbed a wedding procession near Muridke of a large amount in cash and jewelry and made off with their loot while firing into the air. The victims of the robbery alleged that during the process of their valuables being taken from them, a patrol car of the highway police stood on the other side of the GT Road, but apparently chose not to intervene.