Such Gup

Such Gup

Inside job

The bereaved of Peshawar’s school massacre on December 16, are right when they say it was to some extent an inside job. A pall of silence has descended on the investigations, which is also cause for concern. Our mole reports that a terrorist sympathiser on the inside provided information to the effect that the children were massed in the auditorium and also let the killers into the school kitchen at the back of the building, from where they began their murderous spree.


Not content with their shadow looming over almost all aspects of national life, we hear the khakis are also demanding their quota in the Senate. Rumour has it that their favoured candidate is a lawyer with impeccable pro-Establishment credentials.

On one condition

While family and old friends continue to be miffed with The Great Khan over his recent nuptials and other matters, we hear his sons have agreed to come and stay with their dad in Islamabad over spring break, on one condition. It is said that they have demanded that their new stepmother be absent when they come.

Unusual request

Two highly qualified Pakistani expatriates who gave up promising careers in the West to come and work with The Man of Steel’s government, have made an unusual request of a well-connected journo. “Hamari sifarish kijeye”, they’ve said, “please plead our case and tell the concerned minister to accept our resignations because the ministry has been hijacked and there is no work for us to do.”