Nuggets from the Urdu press

These nuggets are culled from the Urdu press. They are summarised here without comment. Absurd or ridiculous, tft takes no responsibility for them. Illustrations by Saadia Gardezi

Nuggets from the Urdu press

Mysterious explosion baffles small town


According to Dunya (January 31, 2015) a mysterious explosion at a house in Chawinda town blew out the house’s windows and doors and broke the windowpanes of several nearby homes as well. A bomb disposal team found no evidence of explosives, and there were no gas leakages either. There is conjecture in the town (qeyas-araiyan) that the house is haunted (aasaib ka saya).

Bomb scare at girls college


Reported in Jang (January 31, 2015) several girls were injured in a stampede at a college in Nowshera after a bomb scare by a sophomore during a class. A number of girls tried to climb the 10 foot high outer wall and broke their legs.

Policemen rob Kailash troupe


Reported in Dunya (February 1, 2015) a troupe of four women and six men from Kailash, on their way to a festival in India, was stopped by policemen in Lahore for checking. The cops asked for their bags and ran away with them (rafu chakkar ho gaye). The delegation has visited several police stations but has not been able to find them.

PIA engineer travels to Saudi Arabia without visa


A PIA engineer was arrested and fined at Jeddah airport where he had arrived without a passport, Nawa-e-Waqt reports (February 1, 2015). He had boarded a PIA flight from Karachi.

Siblings from Peshawar invent helicopter


Express reports (February 2, 2015) two siblings from Peshawar have invented a helicopter that runs on a car engine. They are waiting for wings to arrive from Italy before it can fly.

Parliamentarians force open railway crossing


Reported in Jang (February 2, 2015) police have registered a case against three parliamentarians and 150 other people for forcing open a railway crossing in Sargodha. Pakistan Railways had closed the crossing until the town administration paid them the Rs 6.6 million that they owe to the department.

Compensation checks for Peshawar attack rejected


According to Express (February 3, 2015) families of the victims of the Army Public School terrorist attack in Peshawar have expressed concerns after a number of Khyber Pakhtunkhwa government’s compensation checks bounced. A provincial minister said some checks had not been signed properly and others had not been stamped.

Bilour announces prize for killing Charlie Hebdo owner


Quoted in Nai Baat (February 3, 2015) Awami National Party leader Ghulam Ahmed Bilour announced a prize of $200,000 for anyone who would kill the owner of french newspaper Charlie Hebdo. Speaking in the National Assembly, he also promised to pay $100,000 to the gunmen involved in the Paris shooting.

Oven stolen from Punjab internal security office 


Reported in Dunya (February 4, 2015) an oven was stolen from the office of Punjab’s additional secretary for internal security. The matter has been hidden from the interior secretary, and a search for the oven has begun.

Woman rains slaps on ex-husband, at court


A man who had divorced his wife to marry her sister was beaten up (khatir tawazo) by the woman and her mother outside a sessions court in Gujranwala, reports Nawa-e-Waqt (February 4, 2015). After a hearing in which the new wife was allowed to go with the man, the divorced wife caught him by the collar and began to slap him (thaprron ki barish).

Officer slapped for putting banned-outfit list on the web


According to Jang (February 5, 2015) an officer at the Interior Ministry was slapped and abused (ghaleez galiyan) by his senior for putting up a list of banned organizations on the ministry’s website. The senior became angry when the officer said the list was part of an official notification and was therefore public record.

Cockroach in Naveed Qamar’s lunch at Parliament


Reported in Nai Baat (February 5, 2015) lawmaker Naveed Qamar was angered (sakht barhami ka izhar) when he discovered a cockroach in his lunch at the Parliament cafeteria. Cockroaches had earlier been found in Nafeesa Shah and Shazia Marri’s sandwiches. One parliament had found nails in his lunch.