Nuggets from the Urdu press

These nuggets are culled from the Urdu press. They are summarised here without comment. Absurd or ridiculous, tft takes no responsibility for them.

Nuggets from the Urdu press


Senior analyst Hassan Nisar was quoted by Daily Jang (19 August 2019) as saying that PM Imran Khan wanted to go to Madinah, but got on the route to Kufa instead. He was further quoted as saying that perhaps the PM did not even know as to what the meaning of the State of Madinah (Riyasat-e-Madinah) was.


Daily Jang (19 August 2019) informed its readers that until now, Saudi women could add all sorts of conditions to the wedding contract (nikah-nama), but that a Saudi lawyer has advised men, too, to consider exercising their right to add stipulations. For instance, he could add the condition that his wife would not travel without his permission or that she would refrain from the use of certain apps.


According to Daily Express (20 August 2019), for having performed in Pakistan recently, singer Mika Singh apologized to the Indian people in accordance with the wishes of the Federation of Western India Cine Employees (FWICE).

Bilawal’s assessment

Bilawal Bhutto Zardari was quoted by Daily Express (20 August 2019) as asking as to how one Fascist puppet (kathputli Fascist) could ever criticize another Fascist puppet. He went on to ask as to how it was possible for a person who was destroying human rights in their own country (insani haqooq ki dhajjian urra raha hai) to talk about the human rights violations in Kashmir.

Brave New Nation

The BJP’s controversial lawmaker Sadhvi Pragya Thakur was quoted by Daily Express (21 August 2019) as saying that Jawaharlal Nehru was a criminal before the nation for having permitted a special political status for Jammu and Kashmir.


India’s Air Chief Marshal Birender Singh Dhanoa, according to Daily Express (21 August 2019), blew the lid on his own arm’s lack of preparedness for contemporary air warfare. The report quoted the Air Chief Marshal as saying that the MiG-21 aircraft operated by India were now 44 years old – and that nobody drove even a car that was so antiquated.

The Hand

Special Assistant to the Prime Minister for Information and Broadcasting Firdous Ashiq Awan, according to Daily Jang (20 August 2019), stated that in the latest episode of “Let’s Do Politics Among Ourselves” (“Aao aapas mein siyasat karein”), the opposition had taken Maulana Fazal-ur-Rehman for a ride (Maulana ke sath hath kar diya). She went on to opine that the Maulana had one agenda and the parsimonious parties (paisa-bachaa partiaan) had a totally different one.

Dr. Naik in Malaysia

It was reported by Daily Jang (21 August 2019) that Malaysian authorities are viewing Dr. Zakir Naik’s recent comments in that country as a threat to national security. As a consequence, he is now banned from public speaking or issuing statements throughout that country. The report stated that even before this, he had been banned from speaking by 7 states in that country due to his racially charged comments (nasl-parastana bayaan).

On Shehbaz Sharif

Federal Railways Minister Sheikh Rasheed, according to Daily Dunya (23 August 2019), stated that Shehbaz Sharif was a perceptive person (samajh-dar) and a man of his own party (meri party ka admi), but that he had gotten caught between his politics on the one hand and those of his blood on the other. Sheikh Rasheed further predicted that Shehbaz Sharif would be able to save neither his politics, nor his kin.

Lessons from Murad Saeed

Minister for Communications Murad Saeed was quoted by Daily Jang (23 August 2019) as saying that Bilawal Bhutto Zardari must know that corruption and looting is an unpardonable crime in Naya Pakistan. Moreover, he stated that there the greater the corruption and looting, the greater the punishment. He went on to opine that when one’s Papa is arrested, it is painful, and when one’s aunt (phuppi) is arrested, it is even more painful.