Such Gup

Such Gup

High spirits

Anarcotics case must be the worst that the powers could do to a sworn enemy, and they did their worst. But the moustachioed Rajput’s resolve is unbreakable and although confined to C class jail and in virtual solitary confinement, he is in high spirits. We hear his jailers prefer to confine him to his cell, because if he steps out into the prison yard, other prisoners flock to him and the atmosphere becomes highly charged. Whenever he is allowed to go into the yard, the jailers cordon off the rest of the prison, preventing other inmates from meeting him. The Rajput’s food is taken to him once a week by his wife, and once a week by his lawyers. The rest of the fare is the jail’s daal-roti.

Drawing a blank

The rumour mills are in overdrive. We hear messages have been sent to The Man of Steel and his daughter to take safe passage and go into voluntary exile. Our mole says even The Man’s nonagenarian mother was asked to intercede with her son. All requests have received a resounding “no”. Before the hope that they would go quietly, was dashed, it began to be said that The Man had agreed to return billions of dollars to the exchequer. Nothing of the sort has happened. The fact is that “they” have drawn a blank.

Nothing. Zilch. Zero

Sources say The Great Khan insists that “something must be done about Kashmir”. Now, if that isn’t a laughable statement, we don’t know what is! What precisely can the state of Pakistan do about Kashmir? Nothing. Zilch. Zero.

It was in the same spirit that someone came up with the brilliant idea of sending some leading lights of the opposition (those who find favour with the powerful) to foreign capitals to lobby on Kashmir. The Khan would have none of it. “If they’re not listening to us, why should they listen to them?” he is rumoured to have declared. End of matter.