Nuggets from the Urdu press

These nuggets are culled from the Urdu press. They are summarised here without comment. Absurd or ridiculous, tft takes no responsibility for them. Illustrations by Shahzeb Ali Syed

Nuggets from the Urdu press

Anger management for police


Reported in Dunya (June 27, 2015) police training in Punjab will now include an anger management course. Psychologists will teach policemen how to control their tempers.

US court lets Pakistani taxi driver wear Shalwar Kamiz


Express reports (June 27, 2015) a Pakistani taxi driver in St Louis was allowed by a court to wear a Shalwar Kamiz instead of the regular uniform of white buttoned shirt and black pants prescribed by the city’s taxi commission. He had said Shalwar Kamiz was his religious dress and stopping him from wearing it would be a violation his religious freedom.

University cancels PTI lawmaker’s degree


Islamia University of Bahawalpur has canceled the Bachelor’s degree of Tehrik-e-Insaf leader and MNA Ghulam Sarwar, Dunya reports (June 28, 2015). They say the engineering diploma that he submitted to the university was fake.

A 70-year-old can run for youth seats in Islamabad 


According to Nawa-e-Waqt (June 28, 2015) a 70-year-old man qualifies to run for the seats reserved for  youth in the upcoming local elections in Islamabad. An amendment in the law has changed the age range for these seats from 18-25 to 18-70.

Cashier beats armed robbers with shoes


Reported in Dunya (June 29, 2015) a cashier at a bakery scared away (bhagnay par majboor kar diya) two armed robbers with his shoes (jooton say hamla). Surveillance footage shows the man tried to catch one of the robbers who was trying to find his way behind the counter, but failed. As they pointed their guns at him, he ducked, took off his shoes, and threw them at the men. They panicked (hawas bakhta) and ran away.

Pakistani doctors struggling in India 


According to Jang (June 29, 2015) Pakistani Hindu doctors who migrated to India are selling shoes and repairing mobile phones because they have not been allowed to practice medicine. Those who made hundreds of thousands of rupees in Pakistan are struggling to find menial jobs in India (mamooli nokri kay liye dhakkay kha rahay hain).

Shah Mehmood Qureshi gets angry over speech slot 


Dunya says (June 30, 2015) Shah Mehmood Qureshi became angry with Shafqat Mehmood when he did allow him to make a speech before Imran Khan at a PTI event in Lahore. Shafqat Mehmood tried to explain (wazahatain) but Qureshi left in a bad mood.

Qaim Ali Shah’s miscalculations


According to Nai Baat (June 30, 2015) while talking to reporters about the heat wave in Karachi, Sindh Chief Minister Qaim Ali Shah said the population of Karachi was 2 million. Then he said it was 200 million. He also said the Sindh government gave medical aid to 1,100 heatstroke victims. The provincial health minister standing behind him reminded him it was 11,000.

Robbed becomes robber 


Three con men (nau sar baaz) in Khankah Dogran followed one Amjad Ali out of a bank after he drew Rs 100,000 from his account. One of them dropped some money, and the second picked it up and ran away. He called for help, and they all ran after him and caught him. Then all three of them said it was Amjad Ali who had run away with the money, and they took his Rs 100,000 and left. (Express, July 1, 2015)

Strict discipline in Karachi 


Nawa-e-Waqt reports (July 1, 2015) a deputy superintendent of police in Karachi shot his subordinate in the leg for not saluting him. They were about to file a case against the subordinate when the IG found out and suspended the DSP.