Nuggets from the Urdu press

These nuggets are culled from the Urdu press. They are summarised here without comment. Absurd or ridiculous, tft takes no responsibility for them

Nuggets from the Urdu press

Khalid Maqbool repents being governor


Reported in Ausaf, former Punjab governor Lt Gen (r) Khalid Maqbool repents taking the office. He now prays five times a day.

Chaudhry Nisar’s negotiations are a joke


Hafiz Tahir Ashrafi tells Islam that when Chaudhry Nisar speaks of negotiations with the Taliban, it sounds like a joke. The duty should be assigned to serious people.

TV channels should also be banned


Jamat-e-Islami leader Nighat Yasmeen tells Jasarat in an interview that the media’s unbridled freedom (madar piddar azadi) has ruined the society. A mother and a daughter cannot sit in front of the TV together because there are semi-nude women and obscene programs. Like Youtube, all TV channels should also be banned.

Army does not respect runaways


Quoted in Express, Barrister Aitzaz Ahsan says Pervez Musharraf’s heart attack lie has been exposed. He should remember that the army does not respect runaways.

Malala’s anti-Islam book should be banned


In an interview with Jasarat, Mufti Naeem of Jamia Binoria demands a ban on Malala Yousafzai’s book. He says it is anti-Islam.

Taliban made Pakistan and are fighting its war


Quoted in Qudrat, Maulana Abdul Aziz’s wife Um-e-Hassan says Taliban are champions of peace. They are the ones who made Pakistan, not refugees who came from India to subjugate this country. Taliban are fighting the war of Pakistan.

How to make Taliban happy


Writing in Jang, Ansar Abbasi praises Nawaz Sharif for constituting a committee to hold talks with the Taliban. He urges him to ban usury, chop the hands and feet of thieves, stone adulterers to death, and lash those who drink. After the implementation of Sharia, Taliban will be happy and it will be easier to negotiate with them.

What Sharia do we want? 


Ansar Abbasi says in Jang that liberals don’t want Sharia in Pakistan. They ridicule Islam when they ask what Sharia we want when we can’t pray in one mosque. We want a Sharia that bans coeducation, adultery, obscenity and usury. That is acceptable to all sects.

The future of Pakistan


Ayaz Amir writes in Jang that if the nation’s fate has to be decided by Irfan Siddiqui, Rustam Shah and Major Amir, then people like us should take refuge in a cave in North Waziristan and spend the rest of our lives doing yoga.

The death of PTI


Writing in Dunya, Haroon Rashid says there is no difference between Pakistan Tehrik-e-Insaaf (PTI) and other corrupt political parties. PTI is heading towards its logical end. Goons have taken over PTI.

A truck with many drivers


Shaheen Sehbai says in Jang that the government is negotiating with a truck that has too many drivers. Each driver wants to take the truck in his own direction.

Nawaz Sharif has learnt that he does not need to learn


Writing in Express, Talat Hussain says Nawaz Sharif has learned from his follies in the last 15 years that he does not have to learn anything.