Nuggets from the Urdu press

These nuggets are culled from the Urdu press. They are summarised here without comment. Absurd or ridiculous, tft takes no responsibility for them. Illustrations by Saadia Gardezi

Nuggets from the Urdu press

Surrogate prisoners in Sindh jails


According to Jang (March 26, 2015) Rangers have told the Interior Ministry that there are a number of surrogate prisoners in the jails of Sindh, serving other people’s terms. NADRA has found four such prisoners in a preliminary investigation.

Three actresses sent back from UK


Reported in Express (March 26, 2015) three Pakistani actresses have been blacklisted in the UK for performing without a permit. When Aafreen, Nida Chaudhry and Qismat Baig were asked if they had permission to act in plays, they said they had lost their passports. The girls were sent back to Pakistan.

Tax officials raid concert at Lahore Fort


Tax department officials raided a Rahat Fateh Ali Khan concert at Lahore Fort, reports Express (March 27, 2015). They said it was claimed to be a charity show, but tickets were sold for up to Rs 25,000. There was a scuffle (dhakkam pail, talkh kalami) between the excise team and officials of the Walled City Authority.

Chinese ‘students of Shahbaz Sharif’


Quoted in Nawa-e-Waqt (March 27, 2015) a Beijing official said during Shahbaz Sharif’s recent visit to China that when someone in the corporate, trade or government sector of the country works with extraordinary commitment and speed, they are named “students of Shahbaz Sharif”.

Suspect runs away with police motorcycle 


Reported in Dunya (March 28, 2015) a suspect locked up for drug trade in Lahore ran away from police custody on the police’s own motorcycle.

‘Sufi’ among most misused words


Writing in Jang (March 28, 2015) Hassan Nisar says Pakistanis use words like ‘superstar’, ‘legend’ and ‘genius’ for every tom, dick and harry (har lallu phattu) but it is hard to digest similar misuse of the word Sufi, which is used without hesitation for people who do not qualify (airay ghairay).

PIA gets ‘yellow card’ at Heathrow


Nawa-e-Waqt reports (March 28, 2015) Heathrow Airport has given a warning (yellow card) to Pakistan International Airlines saying its crew has been caught carrying restricted items or goods beyond their duty free allowance.

Drunk passenger beats up PIA pilot in flight 


Reported in Dunya (March 29, 2015) a drunk (nashay main dhut) passenger in a PIA flight from London to Karachi beat up the pilot, causing major head injuries. He was arrested by the police at the airport.

A database of Charsi policemen


According to Dunya (March 30, 2015) intelligence agencies are gathering data to identify policemen in Islamabad who abuse or sell drugs (charsi police ehelkaar).

Men flee after selling fake Umrah tickets


Express reports (March 30, 2015) police in Okara are looking for four men who sold fake Umrah tickets to people and ran away with Rs 1.5 million.

Lawmaker versus rickshawala


According to Jang (March 31, 2015) after Punjab lawmaker Rukhsana Kaukab arrived for an assembly session on a rickshaw, she began a quarrel with the rickshaw driver (ulajh parreen) over ten rupees. Policemen and MPA Saif Ali Chattha had to intervene (maamla rafa dafa).

Cops should adopt filmy style: Nisar


Quoted in Nawa-e-Waqt (March 31, 2015) Interior Minister Chaudhry Nisar Ali Khan told policemen in a meeting that they should adopt “filmy style” and become brave (dabang banain). He also told them to pray regularly.