Guess where I’ve been? Mumbai! And guess where I was staying? On Shahrukh Khan’s backside! Ji haan. My hotel was on his backside. I used to pass his house, Mannat – named after his daughter only – three, three times a day. It’s a big white house and every day there were so many people outside hoping for a darshan. I also used to whisper a little prayer under my breaths as I passed: ‘Hai Allah, please let him come out now only’. But he never.
We went to Mumbai for Naresh, Janoo’s old friend from Oxford, his fiftieth. Everyone said we wouldn’t get a visa because Ship Sinner is allergic to Pakistanis. Ship Sinner is to India what Lashkar-e-Tayba is to Pakistan, na. But instead of Kalashnikovs, suicide bombers and terrorists like Ajmal Kasab, Ship Sinner has ink and laathis. Anyways, Naresh pulled some springs and so our visas came in the tick of time. His party was in Olive, this trendy restaurant in Bandra only. Despite of Ship Sinner, everyone was double friendly to me and Janoo and also everyone fell in love with my Sana-Safinaz. Jora bhai, what else? Just imagine, I said to Janoo, if they don’t control Ship Sinner, India will be just like Pakistan.
Baba, I tau love how in Mumbai there are so many women on the streets – in saris, in shorts, in skirts — striding about, driving motorbikes, and no one bothers them even this much. Honestly, so nice it is. Janoo took me to the Taj Hotel for lunch. He had pomfray and I had seizure salad. It’s so grand na, the Taj, and it’s hosted all these celebs – maharajahs, Hollywood stars – right from olden times. I kept thinking maybe my bums are sitting on same chair as Cindy Crawford’s. Also, I saw Ambani’s house which looks like multi story car park.
But then kill joy Janoo dragged me off to this Litfest where there were all these bore lectures through all of which I had a nice nap. But then I saw Twinkle Khanna there with her mother Dimple Kapadia! Both looking totally tabahi. I suppose every crowd has a silver lining.
We went to Mumbai for Naresh, Janoo’s old friend from Oxford, his fiftieth. Everyone said we wouldn’t get a visa because Ship Sinner is allergic to Pakistanis. Ship Sinner is to India what Lashkar-e-Tayba is to Pakistan, na. But instead of Kalashnikovs, suicide bombers and terrorists like Ajmal Kasab, Ship Sinner has ink and laathis. Anyways, Naresh pulled some springs and so our visas came in the tick of time. His party was in Olive, this trendy restaurant in Bandra only. Despite of Ship Sinner, everyone was double friendly to me and Janoo and also everyone fell in love with my Sana-Safinaz. Jora bhai, what else? Just imagine, I said to Janoo, if they don’t control Ship Sinner, India will be just like Pakistan.
Baba, I tau love how in Mumbai there are so many women on the streets – in saris, in shorts, in skirts — striding about, driving motorbikes, and no one bothers them even this much. Honestly, so nice it is. Janoo took me to the Taj Hotel for lunch. He had pomfray and I had seizure salad. It’s so grand na, the Taj, and it’s hosted all these celebs – maharajahs, Hollywood stars – right from olden times. I kept thinking maybe my bums are sitting on same chair as Cindy Crawford’s. Also, I saw Ambani’s house which looks like multi story car park.
But then kill joy Janoo dragged me off to this Litfest where there were all these bore lectures through all of which I had a nice nap. But then I saw Twinkle Khanna there with her mother Dimple Kapadia! Both looking totally tabahi. I suppose every crowd has a silver lining.