Star-struck
Daily Express (10 April 2017) reported that experts in the knowledge of astrology are predicting that Imran Khan will emerge as Prime Minister after the 2018 elections. The astrologers also predicted that Maryam Nawaz has favourable stars and that time is not on the side of Asif Ali Zardari.
Democratic and un-democratic accountability
According to Daily Express, PTI chief Imran Khan was quoted saying that the PPP was demanding democratic accountability (jamhoori ehtesab), but he did not see what the distinction was between democratic and un-democratic accountability (jamhoori aur ghair-jamhoori ehtesab).
That should fix it!
It was reported by Daily Express (10 April 2017) that the daughter of the Prime Minister, Maryam Nawaz, took notice of electricity load-shedding. She asked people affected by the power cuts to inform her by Twitter of the details of their problem, mentioning their region, district, etc
Short-sighted?
Daily Dunya (14 April 2017) reported that the cameras installed by the Department of Excise and the Safe City Authority suffer from poor vision (nazr kamzor), and that they cannot read the alphabets and numerals on vehicle license plates on the road. The authorities have asked for a new design for the vehicle number plates.
“She didn’t get it”
Aseefa Bhutto Zardari had taken notice of the inappropriate comments by opposition leader Khursheed Shah regarding women in the Assembly ‘falling ill’ if they did not talk enough. According to Daily Dunya (14 April 2017), Shah’s response has been that if he did not say anything wrong, he did not see why he ought to apologise. He suggested that perhaps Aseefa had not understood his remarks.
No misuse permitted
Daily Jang (14 April 2017) reported that Maulana Sami-ul-Haq stated that Pakistan was created for the sake of Islam and that its 180 million proud people (18 crore ghayoor awaam) would never, under any circumstances, permit its pure soil from being used at the behest of America and the West for liberal and secular purposes.
Relief package
According to Daily Dunya (15 April 2017) the authorities have decided upon an action plan to ensure that in Lahore and the rest of Punjab, the number of donkeys is increased, while clamping down on the illegal use of their hides and the sale of their meat.
Sage advice
Daily Jang (15 April 2017) quoted senior PPP leader Maula Bux Chandio as recommending to Indian Muslims that they join the Pakistan People’s Party, and that this might help with the difficult times that are upon them.
Mummy and Daddy
Daily Dunya (16 April 2017) reported that Russia possesses a bomb that is four times more powerful than the Mother Of All Bombs (MOAB) used by the United States. This Russian bomb is called the Father of All Bombs (tamaam bam’on ka baap).
Unlikely inhabitants
It was reported in Daily Jang (16 April 2017) that authorities in Gulberg, Lahore, raided the Auriga Plaza and recovered goats and cattle which had been illegally raised and kept on the rooftop of the mall.