Nuggets from the Urdu press

These nuggets are culled from the Urdu press. They are summarised here without comment. Absurd or ridiculous, tft takes no responsibility for them.

Nuggets from the Urdu press

Chor vs chowkidar


According to Daily Dunya (25 June 2018), Babar Awan of the PTI expressed his view that the time had come to choose between thieves (chor) and watchmen (chowkidar). He asked Nawaz Sharif where the electricity was that he claimed had been generated, and whether it had been taken away in a shopping bag (shopper).


Change of heart


Former PML-N provincial minister Chaudhry Abdul Ghafoor, according to Daily Dunya (25 June 2018) stated that he could no longer stand with his erstwhile leader who had been elected thrice as Prime Minister. He claimed that Modi had been called to Lahore and conspiracies had been hatched alongside him. The former PML-N minister claimed that now he and his family would stand in the way of Modi’s friend (Modi ke yaar ka rasta rokein ge).


People’s biker?


Daily Dunya (25 June 2018) reported that Sheikh Rasheed had started his election campaign on a motorcycle. He was quoted as saying that he was considering adopting the motorcycle as his electoral symbol instead of the ink and pen.


The religion card


The ANP’s Asfandyar Wali was quoted by Daily Jang (25 June 2018) as saying that Islam was brought back (zinda kiya jata hai) every five years in order to gain votes. He stated that Maulana Fazl-ur-Rehman was able to halt the FATA Merger Bill in parliament with one phone-call, yet he had never asked Nawaz Sharif for the implementation of Islam (nifaz-e-Islam).


Progress


Daily Jang (25 June 2018) reported on the first day of driving for Saudi women. According to the report, one day prior to the go-ahead for women to drive, special sign boards had been set up on roads around Riyadh, Jeddah and Damam. Some of the boards bore the message “We are with you. Where ever you drive, you will find us helping you.” Another sign bore the following message: “We are all your brothers. There is nothing to fear.”


Invisible dimensions of politics


Siraj-ul-Haq of the Jamaat-e-Islami was quoted by Daily Jang (26 June 2018) as saying that his party had no national or international power centre backing it. But, he claimed, the party was facing unseen forces (muqabila aisi na-deeda quwwaton ke saath hai) which sought to implement a non-Shariah and un-Islamic atmosphere and governance in the country.


Life-forms


Shehbaz Sharif was quoted by Daily Dunya (27 June 2018) as saying that the Holy Scripture contained mention of djinns (jinnat) but not of any extra-terrestrial life-forms (khalai makhlooq).


Imagine all the people…


Shehbaz Sharif was quoted by Daily Nawa-i-Waqt (30 June 2018) as expressing his preference that politicians and generals should have friendly conversation around a table (meyz pe dostana baat-cheet honi chahiye). He further stated that people would have to forgive and forget and place national interest above personal interests.


Spiritual power?


Daily Express (30 June 2018) reported that Bushra Bibi, the wife of Imran Khan, had gone political (siyasi ho gaeen). She reportedly met with women leaders of the PTI who were unhappy about the distribution of electoral tickets from the party. She was able to win them over (manaa liya) by relating instances of Imran Khan’s struggle (juddojuhd) which made the disgruntled party leaders weep. Some of the female leaders were subsequently quoted as saying that Bushra Bibi was such an affectionate and beloved (shafeeq aur pyari) woman that there were tears in their eyes, and that they would now devote themselves fully to the party’s election campaign even if they got nothing. They also stated that they had congratulated their bhabi on her new home and had no more complaints.


Everyone wants a ride


Daily Express (01 July 2018) reported that independent candidates contesting elections for the National Assembly were very interested in the Jeep symbol. In Lahore, a dispute between candidates desirous of obtaining that electoral symbol was decided by a lucky draw (qurrah-andazi), whereas in Faisalabad, a coin toss was used to resolve a similar situation.


End of the secular lobby?


According to Daily Express (01 July 2018), Maulana Muhammad Amjad of the MMA expressed his view that in the upcoming elections, the people would reject the secular lobby and send religious (deen-dar) representatives to parliament.