Nuggets from the Urdu press

These nuggets are culled from the Urdu press. They are summarised here without comment. Absurd or ridiculous, tft takes no responsibility for them

Nuggets from the Urdu press

The hospitable Taliban


Ummat reports that the Taliban’s negotiations committee was welcomed in Waziristan in accordance with tribal traditions of hospitality. They were served lamb pulao for dinner and eggs and paratha for breakfast.

GHQ has the key to Taliban dialogue success


Jang quotes Maulana Fazlur Rehman as saying that the Taliban carried out several attacks on him. The key to the success of talks with the Taliban is with GHQ.

Imran Khan demoralizing the army


SSaleem Safi says in Jang that Imran Khan is demoralizing the army by telling everyone that the chances of success of a military operation against the Taliban are dim.

Valentine’s Day was made to pervert Muslims


Quoted in Express, Hafiz Saeed says Valentine’s Day was invented to pervert Muslims and eliminate the passion for Islam and Jihad. Muslims should build a barrage against this flood of obscenity and nudity.

Imran Khan is a 62-year-old child


Express quotes the Punjab home minister as saying that if the Taliban are true Muslims, they should not kill other Muslims. Imran Khan is a 62 year-old-child.

Only prayers can lead to peace


Sheikh Rashid tells Dunya that after looking at the bloodshed during the talks with the Taliban, he has realized that peace can only be established through prayers.

TV becomes halal for Maulana Abdul Aziz


Nai Baat says in its editorial that there was a time when Maulana Abdul Aziz would only allow TV channels to show his back during interviews. Now he appears on every TV channel and his face is always zoomed in to 500 percent.

Maulana Abdul Aziz has not read the constitution


Mateen Fikri writes in Jasarat that Lal Masjid cleric Maulana Abdul Aziz did not read the Pakistani constitution before declaring it un-Islamic. He is gullible (kano ka kachcha) and dancing to someone else’s tune.

Talks with Taliban are like Sirat bridge


Maulana Samiul Haq is quoted by Jasarat as saying that talks with the Taliban are like Sirat bridge, which needs to be crossed carefully.

Pious soldier survives suicide attack


Ansar Abbasi writes in his column in Jang that a Rangers commander survived a suicide attack because he was very religious. He used to recite the Holy Quran all the time, and used to quote the Quran and Hadith in everyday conversations.

What did little Bilawal’s father do?


Shaheen Sehbai says in Jang that Bilawal is like little child trying to threaten the Taliban by jumping and shouting. He should ask his father what measures he took against the Taliban when he was in power.

Military operation against Taliban is the only option


Aamir Liaqaat says in Jang that a news report says 200 clerics have opposed a military operation against the Taliban. But even if 500 clerics oppose it, a military operation is the only solution. The government seems to be very confused.