Nuggets from the Urdu press

These nuggets are culled from the Urdu press. They are summarised here without comment. Absurd or ridiculous, tft takes no responsibility for them.

Nuggets from the Urdu press

Naya Kunda

It was reported by Daily Dunya (25 February 2019) that PTI MNA Qasim Noon ran a dera which functioned on stolen electricity. The report further claimed that authorities found an illegal transformer and an illicit connection to the electricity transmission lines.

Pot vs Kettle?

Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan, according to Daily Jang (25 February 2019), claimed that his Egyptian counterpart President Abdel Fattah el-Sisi ran a dictatorship. He went on to claim that judicial decisions or elections were all pointless in Egypt, because that country was a dictatorship.

How to pacify Modi

Daily Dunya (26 February 2019) quoted former Chief Minister of Jammu and Kashmir Mehbooba Mufti as saying that PM Imran Khan ought to pick up a phone and talk to his Indian counterpart PM Narendra Modi, so as to reassure him that he sincerely wanted to help with investigations into the Pulwama attack.

Setting the dam record straight

Former Chief Justice Saqib Nisar, according to Daily Jang (26 February 2019), claimed that his statements to media about the Dam Fund being meant only to raise awareness had been taken out of context (bayan siyaq-o-sabaq se hatt kar chalaya gya). He further stated to journalists that there could not possibly be corruption in the Dam Fund, and expressed regret over allegations to that effect (Dam Fund mein corruption ke ilzamaat pe afsos ka izhaar karta hoon).

Monkey business

The PTI’s Fayyaz-ul-Hassan Chohan expressed his view, according to Daily Jang (27 February 2019), that Indian PM Narendra Modi could be best compared to a monkey which sets the whole jungle on fire after it gets hold of a lit match.

Aam Aadmi from Pakistan?

Daily Jang (01 March 2019) reported that BJP leaders had accused Aam Aadmi Party (AAP) leader Arvind Kejriwal of being a Pakistani agent. According to the report, the BJP’s Manoj Tiwari went so far as to say that Kejriwal spoke in Pakistan’s tongue (Pakistan ki basha bol rahay hein).

Ready, set…

Maulana Fazal-ur-Rehman was quoted by Daily Jang (01 March 2019) as saying that he and his party would not hand over the country to a few people. He further asked the people to be prepared for revolution (awam inquilab ke liay tayar rahein).

Mostly peaceful

Federal Minister for Parliamentary Affairs Ali Muhammad Khan, according to Daily Jang (01 March 2019), stated that Pakistanis are a peace-loving people but that they have not kept atomic weapons merely for decoration (aman-pasand qaum hein magar atom-bumb sajawat ke liay nahin). He went on express his view that inheritors of the legacy of Tipu Sultan would prefer to die rather than live with disgrace.

Busted for Basant

According to a report in Daily Express (01 March 2019), police in Lahore arrested a kite-seller, seizing 400 kites and kite string from him.

Culture Minister’s warning

Daily Express (03 March 2019) quoted Fayyaz-ul-Hassan Chohan as saying that if India did not desist from warlike behaviour, its bones would be crushed to make kohl (surma).

Warning from Sheikh Rasheed

Federal Minister for Railways Sheikh Rasheed, according to Daily Express (03 March 2019) claimed that if there were ever to be a war with India, it would be the last war and that the latter country’s funeral pyre would be set alight (hum Bharat ki chitta jalaa dein ge).