Some people are having a go at me again. I’m not naming any names but Zardari should know who I’m talking about. Frankly, I’m not surprised. People behave strangely when they’re forced into shacking up. I mean he and I are like night and day, oil and water. But they’ve forced us together. I would never have agreed had it not been for a late night visit by a persuader.

My spiritual advisor, nay leader, showed him into our Meditation Room where we had already conjured up an atmosphere. They made me meditate on the celestial law of Karma. The vapours of Karma were drifting in and out of the vast emptiness of my cerebral vortex. It came to me that I had known Zardari from the time of Sultan Alauddin Khilji, in the 13th century. All this while the music score from Bollywood’s controversial film “Padmavati” was playing softly in the background and my spiritual advisor had brought out a huge crystal ball with my entire future swirling around in it.

Back in the 13th century, I was the commanding officer of Sultan Alauddin’s army and in the midst of battle, I was struck by a poisoned arrow to the shoulder. I fainted and was left for dead. After the battle, a Rajput fighter saw me moving amongst the corpses and recognizing my importance, lifted me up and took me to his camp. He tended to my wound and saved my life. Then he pledged loyalty to me, for what I don’t know, but I then saw a shadow lurking in the background with Rana Zardar Singh Zardari nodding and winking at it.

After my return from the 13th century, The Persuader and my Spiritual Advisor convinced me to honour my debt to Rana Zardar Singh whose current avatar is none other than Asif Zardari. That’s why I teamed up with him to defeat Nawaz Sharif in the Senate. No other reason.

And now for the good news. Nawaz is suffering from a nasty outbreak of dandruff. His doctor is secretly working for me and has told Nawaz the whole brutal truth, advising him to consider euthanasia.

Im the Dim