Nuggets from the Urdu press

These nuggets are culled from the Urdu press. They are summarised here without comment. Absurd or ridiculous, tft takes no responsibility for them.

Nuggets from the Urdu press

Who killed my donkey?


Reported in Express (June 8, 2015) Hyderabad police registered a case against six officers of the Hyderabad Electric Supply Company after a man complained that his donkey had died when electric cables broke and fell on it.

Fake MPA runs away with Rs 2 million


Reported in Jang (June 8, 2015) a woman claiming to be a PML-N lawmaker promised a man from a small locality near Lahore an electricity connection for his house and a job for his son in the FIA, among other things. She took Rs 2 million from him for ‘gifts’ for officials concerned, and disappeared.

Train leaves guard behind


According to Dunya (June 9, 2015) a train from Lahore to Quetta left its guard and some passengers at Lahore railway station. They had gone out for fresh air while waiting for a broken air conditioner to get fixed. They were sent to Quetta later on another train.

Five PIA crew members arrested in London


Express reports (June 9, 2015) five members of the PIA crew on a flight from London to Karachi were arrested after British customs authorities stopped the plane and found money and mobile phones that they were transporting illegally. The flight had to return with only seven crew members, in violation of safety rules.

No seat for provincial minister 


When a provincial minister arrived at an event about the China Pakistan Economic Corridor in Lahore, there were no seats, reports Dunya (June 10, 2015). He became very angry and told the administration they should not invite him if they cannot respect him.

American woman comes to Gujranwala for Facebook lover


According to Express (June 10, 2015) an American woman who was in love with a Pakistani man on Facebook came to Gujranwala and took him with her after an engagement ceremony. The man says they will marry in accordance with the US law when they get there.

Lovers’ families battle it out in court


Jang reports (June 12, 2015) the families of a couple who had married without their permission began to fight at a court hearing (gutham gutha) and the men and women slapped each other. The security staff had to intervene to separate the two fighting (dast-o-garebaan) groups.

India angers Pakistani transgenders

According to Nawa-e-Waqt (June 11, 2015) Pakistani transgenders say they can deal with India alone. They are angered (dimagh ghoom gya hai) by India’s tirades (harza saraee) against Pakistan, and if India will face them, it will run away with its tail between its legs.

Free fax machines were spying tools: Rehman Malik


Quoted in Jang (June 14, 2015) former interior minister Rehman Malik says a friendly country was spying on the Pakistani government through the fax machines that they had gifted to the Foreign Office. They had a software that would send a copy of each fax to that country.

Sindh chief minister slept through budget speech


According to Nawa-e-Waqt (June 14, 2015) the Sindh chief minister was sleeping during the budget speech in the provincial assembly. Nobody tried to wake him up.

They run a news ticker even when I eat ice cream: Reham Khan 


Quoted in Express (June 13, 2015) Imran Khan’s wife Reham Khan says the media is targeting her personal life. Even when she eats ice cream (qulfi), they run a ticker on TV.

One executioner for 5,500 death-row prisoners 


Reported in Nawa-e-Waqt (June 12, 2015) there are more than 5,500 death row prisoners in Punjab and only one executioner. At the current pace, it will take five years for Punjab to execute these men and women.