Nuggets from the Urdu press

These nuggets are culled from the Urdu press. They are summarised here without comment. Absurd or ridiculous, tft takes no responsibility for them.

Nuggets from the Urdu press

Bird rights

It was reported by Daily Dunya (23 Apri 2018) that when Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi and British Prime Minister Theresa May were due to meet for breakfast, a non-political crisis (ghair-siyasi bohraan) was avoided. The cause for concern was a duck which had chosen to nestle with its eggs in a window of the room where the meeting was to take place. During the meeting, aides and staff for both leaders scrupulously avoided going near the nest, so as not to disturb the duck and her eggs.

Egg inspection

Maulana Fazl-ur-Rehman, according to Daily Jang (23 April 2018), responded to Imran Khan’s statement that 20 eggs in his basket were rotten. The Maulana opined that all, and not just 20, of the eggs in Imran’s basket were rotten. He further stated that religious parties were being pushed against the wall as part of an organised conspiracy.


Nawaz Sharif, according to Daily Dunya (24 April 2018), expressed his view that restrictions of this kind were not imposed even during martial law. He further stated that the current Parliament had no power, but that God-willing, the next one would be able to make decisions and set things right.


Police in Lahore’s Islampura area arrested a man for defrauding people via SMS. According to Daily Jang (24 April 2018), the man used the ruse of a show in order to part his chosen targets with their money.

Priorities in medical education

Daily Jang (24 April 2018) reported that at a medical conference organised by the Muslim Medical Mission, the need was emphasised for setting priorities and giving the world a changed syllabus and a system for medical education. According to the report, the conference noted the need for highlighting Islamiat (religious studies) in the field of medicine. The conference also observed that by following religious teachings, many problems and illnesses could be avoided.


According to Daily Jang (24 April 2018), an Indian bride at her wedding ceremony called her ex (dareena dost) to the stage and put the wedding garland around his neck – thus choosing him over her scheduled bridegroom. This, according to the report, took the ground out from beneath the groom’s feet (pa’aon talay zameen nikal gai). Subsequently, members of the wedding procession from the groom’s side proceeded to beat up the newly chosen husband and returned from the celebration having achieved nothing (bin Dulhan baraat lowt gai).

Rocky Balboa tabdeeli?

PTI chief Imran Khan was quoted by Daily Jang (24 April 2018) as saying that he would not ally with either the PPP or the PML-N after elections. He promised to hand over corrupt politicians to boxer Amir Khan.

Housing needs

Daily Dunya (26 April 2018) reported that the former Vice Chancellor of Punjab University had, despite using the VC House, still drawn house rent every month. The Public Accounts Committee of the Punjab government had, in this context, ordered the recovery of the extra sum drawn by the former VC.

Not out?

Former minister from the ruling party Khawaja Asif was quoted by Daily Express (27 April 2018) as saying that he had not lost his wicket through his disqualification, but that he had in fact been prohibited from batting. He stated that he would lost his wicket if he had been defeated in elections.

Zardari’s analysis

Asif Ali Zardari, according to Daily Express (29 April 2018), stated that he had allowed Nawaz Sharif to form the government after the previous elections so that democracy might continue. However, noted Zardari, after coming to power Nawaz became Mughal-e-Azam and he had played the PPP under the guise of friendship (dosti ki aar mein khilwaar).

On the rule of law

Former President General (R.) Pervez Musharraf was quoted by Daily Express (29 April 2018) as saying that he was willing to risk his life for Pakistan (Pakistan ke liay jan ki bazi laganay ko tyar hoon) and that he would return to the country to face cases against himself. The ex-strongman further went on to emphasise the need for respecting the courts, the constitution and laws. He also noted that the poor were growing poorer, and he feared that the poor might have to take the law into their own hands.