Nuggets from the Urdu press

These nuggets are culled from the Urdu press. They are summarised here without comment. Absurd or ridiculous, tft takes no responsibility for them.

Nuggets from the Urdu press

“Mowgli’s hunting!”

Leader of the opposition in the National Assembly Khurshid Shah was reported to have said that PPP leader Bilawal Bhutto Zardari is now on the hunt and the Lions will now be nowhere to be seen. According to Daily Jang (17 Oct 2016), he went on to say that those who considered Bilawal a child should wait and see as his might is revealed.


Could it be a cold day in Hell?

Daily Jang reported (18 Oct 2016) that Pakistani- and Indian-born Americans united despite tension, so as to support Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton. The report stated that while some extremist Hindus were in support of Hillary, the general trend among Indian-Americans was towards Hillary.


If wishes could be horses…

It was reported in Daily Jang (18 Oct 2016) that senior PML-N leaders Zafar-ul-Haq, Saad Rafique and Daniyal Aziz stated that PTI leader Imran Khan was a prisoner (ghulam) of his own wishes. They further said that the people of Khyber-Pakhtunkhwa were in protest against the PTI’s provincial government, and that Imran Khan presented a new spectacle (tamasha) every once in a while.



It was reported by Daily Jang (19 Oct 2016) that the Sindh High Court, in hearing a petition against shops selling alcohol, observed that the Department of Excise and Taxation was wrong to issue licenses for sale of alcoholic beverages, since this contravened the Hudood Ordinance. The Court observed that the licenses were meant for the religious festivals of religious minority communities. The Court also stated that with so much alcohol, the minorities could bathe in it.


Good man!

Daily Jang (19 Oct 2016) quoted Melania Trump as saying that her husband Donald Trump is a decent (shareef) man and that he respects women. According to the report, she went on to say that “ex-Hollywood” host Bill Bush had incited Donald Trump to utter inappropriate (na-zeeba) remarks about women in the controversial recording from 2005.


Hiring… in Sindh

Daily Jang (19 Oct 2016) quoted Sindh Chief Minister Murad Ali Shah as saying that if PTI leader Imran Khan wants a job, he can put in a word for the cricketing hero at the Sindh Cricket Association. He went on to say that he had never accepted or offered a bribe.


Double the public service?

Daily Express (23 Oct 2016) reported that a Task Force of the Treasury Department of the Punjab government identified more than 600 employees who were drawing two salaries every month. It was discovered that this was being done using double accounts and that employees of the Auditor-General’s office (AG office) were aiding and abetting it.


“Delegation? What delegation?!”

Daily Express (23 Oct 2016) stated that despite reports of the arrival of a delegation of the Afghan Taliban to Islamabad, a spokesperson for the Foreign Ministry claimed to have no knowledge of the matter. The delegation came in order to brief Pakistani leaders on peace negotiations in Qatar, and a spokesperson for the Afghan Taliban claimed that they also brought up the issue of Afghan refugees in Pakistan.


The elephant in the room?

Daily Nawa-e-Waqt (23 Oct 2016) quoted leader of the Jamaat e Islami Siraj-ul-Haq as saying that the atmosphere was ripe for change (tabdeeli). He went on to say that the National Accountability Bureau (NAB) had so far spent its time swatting mosquitoes, while letting the elephant go.


“You can take everything from me, but…”

It was reported by Daily Express (22 Oct 2016) that a traveler arriving at the Lahore Airport from abroad got into an altercation with Customs staff after they refused to clear the alcoholic drinks he had brought to the country with him. The traveler attempted to resist them seizing his alcohol by hurling abuses (gaalum galoch) – a ruckus which ended with his detention by the Customs staff.