Such Gup

Such Gup

“Never lend to kings”


This adage, “Never lend to kings”, used to be the preferred mode of business conduct amongst usurers of old. In bygone ages, they didn’t always have a choice – but they tried their best not to lend money to royalty. They always knew there was a good chance of it not being returned. While things have changed regarding “kings”, new forms of royalty have sprung up, which feel equally entitled, and equally oblivious of the necessity of honouring commitments. A famous tradesman in Lahore recently poured his heart out to our mole about the long outstanding arrears of a certain “untouchable” gent. Irony of ironies, the latter was Mush’s leading henchman at the place famous for nabbing lawbreakers. In his last months of service, it is said, he and his family went on a shopping spree (particularly at jewelers’ shops) and picked up many a bauble. In more than a decade after his retirement, that money is still outstanding and the gent hasn’t had the courtesy to pay up. Gentle reminders have resulted in harsh reprimands, and tradesmen say frankly that they’re too frightened to approach the gent again, given his connections, and have been forced to “write it off”.

An earful


After effects of the news-breaking story about The Great Khan’s presumed nuptials continue to reverberate. The lady in question is said to belong to a Punjabi family of spiritual leaders and while the clan were irritated at the premature revelations of the so-called marriage, they did not deny it. In fact, some members of the family confirmed that it was a done deal. They insisted that a “rukhsati” has not taken place, but that a “nikah” was not beyond the realm of possibility. Given this confusion, a news reporter worked hard to obtain access to one of the alleged bride’s siblings. She first reprimanded the reporter for “tall tales in the media”, then said that “when the wedding takes place, we will do the needful by our own hand” (“jab shadi ho gi, hamaray haathon ho gi”). “When”, not “if”!