Nuggets from the Urdu press

These nuggets are culled from the Urdu press. They are summarised here without comment. Absurd or ridiculous, tft takes no responsibility for them.

Nuggets from the Urdu press

Eid Mubarak from the police

Daily Dunya (28 August 2017) reported that police in Lahore had started their Eidi-gathering effort (Eidi muhim) by locking up dozens of motorcycles in the run-up to the religious festival, with the rate for recovering a motorcycle ranging between Rs. 1,000 and Rs. 1,500. The report mentioned that such steps have engendered much opposition from locals.

A better year for Sheikh Rasheed

The leader of the Awami Muslim League Sheikh Rasheed was quoted by Daily Dunya (28 August 2017) as saying that last year the butcher ran away (qasai bhaag gya tha), but this year his sacrifice would go well (achi ho jaye gi).

Fighting Trump with…Trump?

It was reported in Daily Jang (28 August 2017) that religious parties took he lead in protesting against US president Donald Trump’s comments about Pakistan and Afghanistan. Speakers were reported to have said that Trump sought to spread sectarianism in Pakistan and damage CPEC. Speakers at a Difa-e-Pakistan Council rally outside the Press Club in Islamabad also demanded that if an apology was not offered by the US, then the ambassador of that country be expelled and NATO supplies be stopped.

Canine fight club

According to Daily Jang (28 August 2017), Lahore police raided a place where bets were laid on fights between dogs. 25 people were arrested. In addition, a sound system, cash, 6 dogs and 6 cars were seized by the authorities.

A sharp contradiction

Daily Jang (28 August 2017) reported that in Chong and nearby areas of Lahore, people began thronging to shops which sharpen knives and cleavers. Clients were reported to be claiming that the owners were charging exorbitant rates for their services in the run-up to Eid-ul-Azha. The shop owners, however, claim that even on Eid they have not been fairly recompensed.

Imran Khan on terrorists and ‘criminals’

It was reported by Daily Jang (29 August 2017) that PTI chief Imran Khan was explaining his position that dialogue is the only workable solution to campaigns of terrorism. When asked why he did not advocate the same approach for the political parties that he opposes, Khan stated that dialogue was possible with people of differing ideologies, but not with criminals.

Scenes from the Senate

According to Daily Jang (29 August 2017), during a speech by Law Minister Zahid Hamid, Senator Chaudhary Tanvir Khan’s cellular phone rang, distracting the former. The Chairman of the Senate asked Chaudhary Tanvir to turn off his phone, but the latter proceeded to take his call, under the table. Meanwhile Senator Siraj-ul-Haq was quoted as saying that in our country, pet dogs are fed butter.


Daily Jang (29 August 2017) quoted Senator Raza Rabbani as observing that in textbooks in Sindh and Punjab, even today, 11 essays extol the virtues of dictatorship whereas 8 promote those of democracy.

Zardari’s marathon?

The PPP’s Asif Ali Zardari was quoted by Daily Dunya (30 August 2017) as saying that he did not fight the courts, but instead ran along with them until they were tired.

Righteous wrath?

Daily Dunya (30 August 2017) reported that Bollywood legend Jiya Bachan, while leaving a temple, slapped a fan who got in her way to take photos.

Patriotism on Eid

Tahir-ul-Qadri, according to Daily Express (31 August 2017), stated that he was returning to his country to celebrate Eid, whereas Nawaz Sharif was going to his own country (i.e. abroad) to do so.

Lean times

According to Daily Nawa-i-Waqt (02 September 2017) the leader of the Jamaat-e-Islami, Siraj-ul-Haq, set out to buy a cow but high prices compelled him to change his mind (mehngai ne unki tauba kara di). After going about the market, he ended up returning home with a goat for Rs. 21,000.