Nuggets from the Urdu press

These nuggets are culled from the Urdu press. They are summarised here without comment. Absurd or ridiculous, tft takes no responsibility for them.

Nuggets from the Urdu press

“If you had done any good, you’d advertise it!”

The Minister of State for Information and Broadcasting Maryam Aurangzeb was quoted by Daily Dunya (23 Jan 2017) as saying that Nawaz Sharif will go on being elected Prime Minister and Imran Khan would go on counting the years of the Prime Minister’s governments. She further stated that if Khan had done anything in Khyber-Pakhtunkhwa province, he would have run ads about it.


Sheikh Rasheed’s warlike words

The leader of the Awami Muslim League, Sheikh Rasheed, has predicted that elections will be held in the country on the 17th of May, during the course of the current year. According to Daily Express (23 Jan 2017), while addressing a rally organised by the PTI in Kasur, Sheikh Rasheed was quoted as saying that Imran Khan had held two dharna protests, but now he (Sheikh Rasheed) would organise a bloody (khooni) dharna protest, and would not stop for breath until the fake, thieving government (jaali, chor hakoomat) was sent home. He further said that he had on previous occasions predicted that there would be a sacrifice (qurbani) but that the butcher (qasab) had run away at that time.


America’s burden?

According to Daily Express (24 Jan 2017) former US Ambassador to Pakistan Cameron Munter said that in US circles, Pakistan is seen as a burden. According to the report, he went on to say that his time as ambassador from 2010 to 2012 was a difficult one, and that people expected much good but this could not be accomplished.


Traitors everywhere?

Daily Express (24 Jan 2017) reported that India’s ruling BJP had come out openly against Bollywood’s king Shahrukh Khan and his new film Raees. According to the report, the BJP’s National General Secretary Kailash Vijayvargiya had described Shahrukh Khan as a traitor to the country.


“If Atiqa and Ayyan can be investigated, why not Panama?”

Daily Express (24 Jan 2017) reported on an exchange that took place between the Jamaat-i-Islami lawyer and a Justice of the Supreme Court in the course of hearing some petitions concerning the Panama Leaks. Lawyer Taufiq Asif asked that if the Supreme Court could take up the matter of Atiqa Odho’s bottle of alcohol or prevent Ayyan Ali from leaving the country, then the Panama matter was far bigger than any of this. About this, Justice Azmat Saeed enquired as to whether Taufiq Asif was representing Atiqa Odho or Ayyan Ali. The Justice went on to remark that it felt as if what was in the advocate’s heart came to his lips, at which laughter was heard in the court.


Cultural assault - through kids’ cartoons?

According to Daily Dunya (25 Jan 2017), Punjab Assembly member Faiza Mushtaq presented a resolution which demanded that cable operators be banned from airing cartoons dubbed in Hindi, since the the cultural assault (saqafati yalghar) of Hindi was ruining the language of ‘our children’. The resolution also demanded that dubbing in Urdu be made compulsory.


The case of the missing bottles

Daily Dunya (25 Jan 2017) reported that the DIG Operations of the police had ordered an enquiry against an SHO from Lahore, who had recovered imported alcohol worth several lakh (several hundred thousand) rupees from a couple, but allegedly failed to submit it to the storage space for such confiscated items.


“Signal torr-taar ke, aaya Dilli-waali girlfriend chorr-chaar ke”

It was reported in Daily Express (25 Jan 2017) that former President of Pakistan General (retd.) Pervez Musharraf, who suffers from back pains, was seen dancing in a disco in a video circulating on social media. According to the report, the former President was seen dancing amidst disco lights to the song “Dilli waali girlfriend” with a young woman. The report stated that last year the former President was seen dancing with his wife.


War on fancy number-plates?

According to Daily Express (25 Jan 2017), the Department of Excise and Taxation had decided to deface ‘fancy’ number-plates. The report stated that the Department instructed its officials to use spray-paint to deface the offending number plates instead of causing severe disruption to the flow of traffic in taking the time to remove them from cars.


Sheikh Rasheed’s generosity?

Sheikh Rasheed was quoted by Daily Express (26 Jan 2017) as saying that Rana Sanaullah and Saad Rafique ought to correct their language (zubaan theek karein), and that it would not end well if there was a fight over the Lal Haveli. He went on to say that if the Prime Minister wanted the Lal Haveli emptied and if the Lal Haveli was a problem, then he (Sheikh Rasheed) would give it as a gift to Nawaz Sharif and ‘Maryam Bibi’ (the PM’s daughter).