What a sweet man Donald Trump is. Telling Imran how he doesn’t want to kill 10 million Afghans in 10 days. So considerate, na. Vaisay why did I get the feeling that he was sunaoing to Imran not to Afghans, haan? Like The Old Bag scolding Janoo’s Ugly Sisters in my presence to sunao me. Kehna beti ko aur sunana bahu ko.
And aik tau these London heat waves. Uff! I’ve come all the way here to get away from muggy Lahore and here I am surrhoing in the heat. So much I’m missing my AC! On top of that, London has new ruler who doesn’t even know how to comb his hair. How much the goras have fallen, vaisay. Almost as much as their pound.
I said this to Janoo and he said ‘before you go around feeling sorry for others, I suggest you put your own house in order’. ‘What’s wrong with my house, ji? It’s so nice and shiny’. ‘I was referring to the rupee,’ he said, ‘which, as you know, has fallen through the floor’. ‘As if I’ve pushed it! It’s fallen on its own, okay? And anyways, what does my house have to do with the rupee?’ ‘When I said your house, I meant your country’. Lo! Aur suno. ‘Janoo,’ I said, ‘I think so, you’re not feeling well. Take a Lexxo and lie down’. So I ignored him and switched on the TV. BBC was coming and there he was Bonga Boris, without even this much of robe.
All my life I’ve heard from Mummy and Aunty Pussy that in the time of goras everything was fit faat. All honest and nice and no corruption. So finally I said, ‘If they were so nice and all, why did we want independence from them?’ ‘Bus,’ they said, ‘at that time the hawa was like that only.’
Still I think we’re much better off than India with their chai walah PM. We tau are so much superior with classy Imran. Look at how ghairatmand he is kay he didn’t even want anything from US. Just went to have photo taken with Melonia.
And aik tau these London heat waves. Uff! I’ve come all the way here to get away from muggy Lahore and here I am surrhoing in the heat. So much I’m missing my AC! On top of that, London has new ruler who doesn’t even know how to comb his hair. How much the goras have fallen, vaisay. Almost as much as their pound.
I said this to Janoo and he said ‘before you go around feeling sorry for others, I suggest you put your own house in order’. ‘What’s wrong with my house, ji? It’s so nice and shiny’. ‘I was referring to the rupee,’ he said, ‘which, as you know, has fallen through the floor’. ‘As if I’ve pushed it! It’s fallen on its own, okay? And anyways, what does my house have to do with the rupee?’ ‘When I said your house, I meant your country’. Lo! Aur suno. ‘Janoo,’ I said, ‘I think so, you’re not feeling well. Take a Lexxo and lie down’. So I ignored him and switched on the TV. BBC was coming and there he was Bonga Boris, without even this much of robe.
All my life I’ve heard from Mummy and Aunty Pussy that in the time of goras everything was fit faat. All honest and nice and no corruption. So finally I said, ‘If they were so nice and all, why did we want independence from them?’ ‘Bus,’ they said, ‘at that time the hawa was like that only.’
Still I think we’re much better off than India with their chai walah PM. We tau are so much superior with classy Imran. Look at how ghairatmand he is kay he didn’t even want anything from US. Just went to have photo taken with Melonia.