Nuggets from the Urdu press

These nuggets are culled from the Urdu press. They are summarised here without comment. Absurd or ridiculous, tft takes no responsibility for them

Nuggets from the Urdu press

Woman says husband tried to kill her with liquor


Reported in Nawa-e-Waqt (June 12, 2014) a woman told the police that her husband made her consume liquor so that she would die, but she survived. The police has registered a complaint.

Too hot to train at police academy 


According to Express (June 12, 2014), trainers at the Chuhng police academy have been forcing trainee officers – many of who are over 50 – to parade in the summer. Four of them passed out because of heat during the training.

Tahirul Qadri is back to hassle his servants


Quoted in Jang (June 13, 2014), JUI-F leader Akram Durrani says Dr Tahirul Qadri is not a popular leader. He is only coming back to Pakistan to hassle his servants.

US bribed PML-N for suicidal Waziristan operation: Imran


Reported in Jang (June 13, 2014), Imran Khan says a military operation in Waziristan would be a suicidal measure. The US wants to bribe the PML-N government to carry out the operation and ruin the reputation of Pakistan Army.

Taliban want to try Musharraf for Benazir’s murder 


Quoted in Dunya (June 14, 2014) a Taliban commander has demanded the custody of former president Pervez Musharraf, saying the Taliban would punish him in accordance with the Sharia law. He said the Taliban had not killed Benazir Bhutto. She was killed by Musharraf, at the behest of former US president George Bush.

Akram Durrani loses tempter over seat belt fine 


Reported in Nawa-e-Waqt (June 15, 2014), when a traffic warden in Islamabad tried to fine federal minister Akram Durrani of JUI-F for not wearing a seat belt, he declined to take the ticket, saying he would rather resign from his National Assembly seat. He even threatened to run the traffic warden over.  Eventually, he took a ticket for a Rs 300 fine.

Pakistani beggar killed while on vacation in Singapore


Reported in Express (June 15, 2014) a Pakistani beggar was killed while he was on vacation in Singapore, by two other Pakistanis. Beggars of Lahore, who carry out a draw every year to send one of their comrades on vacation abroad, protested outside the Chief Minister’s House.

Illicit liquor trade in vehicle with revolving light


Reported in Nawa-e-Waqt (June 16, 2014) two men who had put up a revolving light on their car were arrested for illicit trade of liquor near Lahore. Police seized 118 bottles of imported liquor and 200 bottles of local liquor from them.

Girl eats roti after 10 years


Reported in Dunya (June 16, 2014), a damsel with two master’s degrees (double MA dosheeza) had not eaten a roti in 10 years, and had been surviving on water, milk and fruit. On June 15, she ate a roti, resulting in a wave of joy in her family (ahl-e-khana main khushi ki leher dor gai).

Cricketer beats up spectator making comments about his wife


Reported in Express (June 17, 2014), Bangladeshi cricketer Shakibul Hasan beat up a spectator during a break in the match with India, because he and other men had been staring at and making comments about his wife sitting in a VIP box (ghoornay kay saath un par jumlay bhee kas rahay thay). That made the cricketer angry (aag bagola ho gaye).

‘Fake lawyer’ caught in district courts in Lahore


Reported in Dunya (Jun 18, 2014) lawyers at the district courts in Lahore caught a fake lawyer who had appeared for a hearing, and turned him over to the police. The man admitted he wasn’t a lawyer, and had been defending himself in his own cases.

Finance minister admits opposition leader is younger 


Reported in Jang (June 18, 2014), Finance Minister Ishaq Dar addressed the opposition leader in the National Assembly Khurshid Shah as his younger brother several times during his speech during the budget debate. Shah said he would forgive Dar for his other mistakes because he had at least admitted he was older than him. The speaker said he had reserved his ruling on who was younger.