Nuggets from the Urdu press

These nuggets are culled from the Urdu press. They are summarised here without comment. Absurd or ridiculous, tft takes no responsibility for them.

Nuggets from the Urdu press

Stains and detergent

Daily Jang (26 June 2017) quoted Rana Sanaullah of the PML-N as saying that the PTI believed that “stains are good” (daagh tou achay hotay hein). He stated his belief that Imran Khan could also embrace Asif Ali Zardari in his quest for power. He went on to say that the PTI had become a secure refuge for corrupt elements, but Imran Khan could still not become Prime Minister.


According to Daily Jang (26 June 2017), the Secretary-General of the Jamiat Ulema-e-Pakistan is of the view that freedom from slavery to America was the only solution to all the problems of the Muslim world (aalam-e-Islam ke tamaam masaail ka hal).

A minor snag?

It was reported by Daily Jang (26 June 2017) that the JIT, in its investigation of the money trail of the Prime Minister’s family, had asked the FBR for a tax record up to 1980, but lacked an expert who could understand the intricacies of tax laws.

In other news…

Daily Dunya (29 June 2017) reported on some of the gaffes from Prime Minister Modi’s visit to the United States. According to the report, at one of his official receptions, a member of staff rushed to open both doors of the Indian Prime Minister’s vehicle, but he emerged alone rather than with the expected spouse. Moreover, during his speech some of his papers flew away but Ajit Doval rushed to collect them and save the PM any embarrassment.

Sallu on love

Bollywood superstar Salman Khan was quoted by Daily Dunya (29 June 2017) as saying that he did not believe in any such thing as love. Moreover, he was quoted as saying that marriage is a waste of money.


Daily Jang (30 June 2017) reported that Federal Minister for Railways Saad Rafiq took the view that Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif is being ‘punished’ by world powers for having conduced nuclear tests in 1999.

He who laughs last?

According to Daily Jang (30 June 2017), Asif Ali Zardari was quoted as saying that Nawaz Sharif had forgotten how accountability was carried out for the PPP government. He also remarked that this was merely the beginning.

Thank You Raymond?

It was reported by Daily Jang (01 July 2017) that PTI’s Shah Mehmood Qureshi stated that the account published by Raymond Davis, by corroborating his position from that time, has vindicated him in front of the country.

“Discretion is the better part of valour”

According to Daily Jang (01 July 2017), in order to avoid charges of defamation, self-proclaimed security analyst (khud ko difaai tajziya-nigar ka dawa karnay waalay) Zaid Hamid had changed residence twice. The newspaper went on to state that Hamid is currently staying in a residence with a security guard posted outside and is refusing to answer the judicial summons.

Enter the Traffic Warden!

It was reported in Daily Express (02 July 2017) that when a citizen refused to leave their vehicle, a traffic warden turned ‘Bruce Lee’ and began trying to break the windows of the car through kicks.

Eggs for display only?

Daily Express (02 July 2017) quoted Asif Ali Zardari as saying that the people leaving the PPP to join Imran Khan were rotten eggs (ganday anday) but that the latter would still not give them a ticket to run for election. He went on to express his belief that the PTI chief was only keeping these elements around him for photo sessions.

Snake-hunting dharna

The Pakistan Awami Tehreek’s Secretary General Khurram Nawaz Gandapur, according to Daily Express (02 July 2017), said that the dharna protests had been carried out to kill snakes. He further said that the snakes did not die and that they are currently appearing before courts.