Howzzat

So there I was sitting in my sand pit with my colouring book and crayons when I saw a rabbit beckoning me. He was wearing a khaki tunic and pocket watch a la General Zia. I followed him and fell down the rabbit hole. It all sounded very familiar, as in a bedtime story my sisters read to me before I go to sleep. Anyway, down the rabbit hole I went where I had a fabulous, delusional tea party with lots of Mad Hatters. We partied for days and finally on the Frabjous Day, I slew the Jabberwocky with the Vorpal Sword given to me by the rabbit in khaki and Gen Zia’s pocket watch.

You should’ve heard me at the Mad Hatters’ Tea Party. I made such a great speech: “Oyyye Pakistanio bahar niklo oye …Oye IG insan ka bacha bann oye ... Oye Shahzad Roy … oye baandar… jaldi pohnch oye ... Oyyyy Amreekan safeer Richard Olsen …. abbay ka bann oye … Obama ka na bann .... Oyyyy … ha ha ha .... Oye Chaudhary Nisar gunjayyyyy ... Oye Nawaz gunjayyyyy ... Oye Shahbaz gunjayyyyy ... Oye Achakzai ullu kay charkhay ... Oye Maulvi Diesel ... Oyyy ... ahahahaha ... Oye Shakilurrahman ... Mein tera channel GEO aur akhbarein band karaoon ga ... Oye Najam Sethiii, puncture walay .... Oye Chief Justice Iftikhar Chaudhry election chor oyyy .... Oye Narinder Modi … meray say kushti larr lay oye ... Oyyyy ha ha ha ha ... Oye Khurshid Shah kaaliyaaaa oye ... Oye Salman Ahmed Junooni … oye disco jaldi la kuriyaa’n bhaag Jayein gi oye ... Oye mundayooo ... Oye kuriyooo ... Oye poondiiiii ... Oyyyy ha ha ha ha ... Oye meray tigeroooo ... Oye cheetayyy ... Oye loomar ... Oye khotay ... Oye nyolay ... Oye aaloo ... Oyyy ha ha ha ha ... Oye naya Pakistan banao oye … nayee biwi lao oye … Shahbaz ko jealous karao oye … Geeli shalwar oye … Pasha baykaar oye ... Amreeka ka yaar oye ... Ghaddar oye ghaddar oye ... Jo dharnay mein na aye ... Uss pay phitkaar oye .... Oyyy umpire oye ... ungli khari karr oye ... Oye umpire jaldi karr oyyyee ... Oye ungli khari karr oye laanati ... oye beghairat ... Oyyy ha ha ha ha ...”

 

Im the Dim