No Can Do
The good news is that the women of Saudi Arabia will finally be able to drive their own vehicles, after a heroic struggle spanning decades. The bad news is that our accidental Premier is unable to drive his own car, as was his wont when he was a free man. Our mole says it’s something he relished, shunning protocol and fawning staffers, in favour of taking the wheel himself and going solo all over the place, particularly to his favourite coffee shop in Isloo. No Can Do nowadays, it seems, what with security concerns etc. We hear he really misses driving his own car. We also hear he hates the protocol and all the constraints on his personal mobility and privacy. And he misses his favourite coffee shop!
Dead as a Dodo
We hear The Man of Steel was mulling his options in London when he got wind of a potential dash from his party. His sources told him that a group of lawmakers were thinking of crossing the floor and going over to join The Great Khan’s horde, in The Man’s absence. That was a propellant for The Man, as well as the fact that had he not returned home and made an appearance before NAB, he would’ve had to face more embarrassment. The Man returned to Pakistan, confounding his detractors, and his horses didn’t bolt. The Khan’s Horde, put out by the Nooners’ no show, began to say that the bolters had been stopped in their tracks by The Boyz! Take it or leave it, folks, the politics of idealism is dead as a Dodo.
An eye witness says that a high politico went campaigning in his constituency, to gauge the temperature. Locals reported that the visit was not a success because the politico had with him a Hand Shaker – yes, a lackey who shook hands with the masses in lieu of the lord, so that “germs” would not be transferred to His Mightiness!