SUCH GUP: Blue Movie, Impressive Billy, Caretakers Again And Leaks For Whom?

SUCH GUP: Blue Movie, Impressive Billy, Caretakers Again And Leaks For Whom?

Blue movie by Perverse & Menace

What’s going on in our capital’s twin city is far worse than a blue movie in the making. Many thousands of kanals worth of land — already under the NABbers’ radar — is being sequestered by Chory Perverse and his son Menace. Our mole says they are in a tearing hurry to legalise this Blue scheme and have finally forced an officer into harness for the rough ride. This, after several officers absolutely refused to sign on the dotted line. If the NABbers don’t stop this Blue movie in the making, many credulous investors will be robbed of their investment.

Quite an impression

We hear Billy The Kid has been making quite an impression on his foreign tours. One European head of state apparently sang his shaheed mother’s praises and told Billy that, as a student of South Asian history, he had read much on Pakistan starting with its genesis and particularly on ZAB’s career. The head of state told Bill that “the most significant steps towards nationhood had been taken by the PPP”, counting amongst these the 1973 Constitution and the 18th Amendment enshrining the NFC Awards, wresting financial control from the centre and giving it to the provinces of Pakistan, “where it belongs”.

Audience for leaks

The recent spate of audio leaks concerning the Great Leader and an ambitious female politician from the Black Garden region did not make much of a difference to the frenzied PTI supporters. Many claim that these are results of deep fake technology while the Great Leader has termed the leaks as an attempt to 'mislead' the youth. [Irony died of course]. Conservative sections of the society have been shocked at the games the wannabe Caliph of Medina State allegedly likes to play. Our mole tells us that the primary audience of these nuggets are the middle class families within the khakis who need to know about the extracurricular activities of their favourite Caliph. Makes sense. Right?

Lining up

A good number of ever ready hopefuls for caretaker positions have been spotted in the capital. A meeting with the chief spy was held on the economy. Some of these wizards had served under the Great Leader. A fly on the wall told us that few bitterly complained about the way their former boss managed the government affairs. But most were united in criticising Isaac the wizard who promised the moon but has been unable to deliver on his promises to  stabilise the economy. The IMF, we believe, will not be averse to negotiating with the caretakers. The question in Isloo is if caretakers' idea is to scare the Great Leader or the khakis are actually going to bring their beaten horses back to the race course?