Such Gup

Such Gup

Who calls the shots

During one of Karachi’s worst spates of ethnic violence, senior police officials and khakis went from pillar to post trying to understand who was calling the shots in the Quaid-e-Qiwam’s party. The Quaid was mired in troubles in Her Majesty’s realm, at the behest of Scotland Yard, and it was rumoured that he was losing his grip. Suspecting that there was a power vacuum or that authority had become diffused in the Quaid’s party, the Invisible Soldiers Inc dispatched a senior khaki to go and parley with the Quaid to see if he was still in control. Arriving at the Quaid’s door in London, the khaki was ushered in to the living room where the Quaid waited with a very senior party man from Karachi. The khaki was dismayed that he wasn’t going to have a private tete-a-tete with the Quaid but nonetheless sat down and began chatting about this and that. The clock ticked away and the pleasantries continued. The khaki wanted to get to the point about who was the real power in the party, when, sensing the moment, the Quaid asked the khaki if he’d like some tea. The khaki said yes, and the Quaid turned to the senior stalwart sitting there and said, “bhai, jao hamaray liye chai bana lao” (go and make some tea for us). The order was delivered in such a peremptory manner and the command obeyed so promptly that the khaki was left in no doubt about who called the shots.

Wedding bells

Wedding bells have rung again for a septuagenarian Sardar from The Man of Steel’s camp. They say he’s wed a lady in her 40s, grand daughter of a princely figure from Balochistan. Our mole reports that The Great Khan too has been thinking of tying the knot again. They say he wants to have more children, and that he feels quite alone in his big house on the hill.

Sailing in two boats

The author of the draconian Protection of Pakistan Ordinance is none other than The Man of Steel’s larger than life legal eagle. By doing this, he’s managed to sail in two boats at the same time. In pursuing the case against Mush, he’s pleased The Man of Steel and possibly cheesed off the khakis. In authoring the draconian law, he’s pleased the khakis and cheesed off human rights wallahs and the Supreme Adjudicators. They say he drafted the law in 12 hours, no less, leaving ZH, who drafted the notorious NRO, to clean up the mess after him. There are ironies aplenty here and should not be missed.