Nuggets from the Urdu press

These nuggets are culled from the Urdu press. They are summarised here without comment. Absurd or ridiculous, tft takes no responsibility for them.

Nuggets from the Urdu press

From the President’s mouth!

Daily Jang (28 Feb 2017) reported that the President of Pakistan Mamnoon Hussain, while complaining about state officials in the country, said that these officials were no longer in the habit of doing work. He went on to say that in various sectors of the country, ill-gotten income (haram-khori) had become the norm.

On madness

According to Daily Jang (28 Feb 2017), PTI chief Imran Khan said that holding the Pakistan Super League (PSL) final in Lahore was madness (paagal-pun). Law Minister of Punjab Rana Sanaullah, commenting on this statement, said that the whole nation welcomed the PSL final, while ‘Mad Khan’ (Paagal Khan) was talking madness (paagal-pun ki baatein).

Any time now!

Daily Express (01 Mar 2017) reported that PTI leader Abdul Aleem Khan urged party workers to be prepared in every area, as elections could be held at any time. He asked party workers to be prepared to do better than the party’s 2013 performance against the PML-N.

Women who did no harm!

A judicial magistrate in Lahore acquitted three women accused of obscene gesture (fohsh ishaaray), according to Daily Dunya (02 Mar 2017) on grounds of insufficient evidence. The lawyer for the accused took the position that the actions of the women did not lead to the sensibilities (jazbaat) of any citizen being offended (majrooh)

Airline running on prayers

The members of a Senate Standing Committee with regards to the Pakistan International Airlines (PIA) criticized the national air carrier severely, according to Daily Express (02 Mar 2017). They asked whether the airline was an impressive air service or the equivalent of Khan Bus Service. They went on to opine that the airline was running not because of its good service but because of the prayers for a safe journey recited before travelling (dua-e-safr).

Out of control?

Daily Dunya (03 Mar 2017) reported that easily angered cricket player Umar Akmal once again found himself in a row off the field, this time with Excise officials who removed his vehicle’s number plates, which did not match regulations. The report stated that the cricketer went “out of control” and clashed with the officials at this point.

Disappointment for the media

Daily Dunya (05 Mar 2017) reported that an All Parties’ Conference called by the PPP was wrapped up without any joint decision or declaration. According to the report, political leaders including Maulana Fazl-ur-Rehman, Chaudhry Shujaat, Siraj-ul-Haq, Sherpao, Israrullah Zehri, Mir Hasil Bizenjo and others tricked the media by getting into their vehicles from within Zardari House (chakma detay huay nikkal gaye). Later, PPP leader Bilawal Bhutto Zardari also spoke to media for three minutes before departing the scene, leaving many questions unanswered. The report stated that media representatives waited in vain (khwaar hotay rahay) outside Zardari House for the outcome of the APC.

Conspicuous consumption

Daily Dunya (04 Mar 2017) reported that the Governor of the State Bank of Pakistan Ashraf Mahmood revealed that Pakistanis, ostensibly a poor nation, spent some $ 8 billion on imports of clothes, cars, make-up and other ‘unnecessary’ luxuries.

Exclusive membership?

According to Daily Dunya (05 Mar 2017), the leader of the Awami Muslim League Sheikh Rasheed also joined the ‘Shoe Club’ (joota club ke member ho gaye) after an old man threw a shoe at him at the Lahore Railway Station.