Eid mubarak everyone! I’m in Al-King’s land of sand by the grace of Allah. For the fust time, they gave me an Arabness test, for which I prequalified by pushing to the front of the queue. “Ahlan wa sahlan dear brime minister. We are going to give you Arabness test”. I replied, “Al-ack and Al-as! Why I was born in Bakistan when I feel so Hijazi and Al-arabi?” My examiner, Nubian slave of Al-King called Sumbul Agha got the clap and said joyously, “O Al-larming intellect! You’ve scored 100 ber cent in first round. Now second round: what about Gaza?” I replied, “Gaza? Where’s that?” My examiner got the clap again. “Congratulations, brime minister! You’ve bassed Arabness test. You are true Arab!”
Having passed the test, I went to see Al-king to whom I complained that there’s no money and Pakistan’s jobless figures are mounting. He said, “El-ated I am that at least you dear brother are still hanging on to your job”. I had a copy of this year’s budget in my hand to prove my point. But when Al-King asked what I had in my hand, I said “oh just something trashy that I like reading when I’m on holiday.”
I assured him that I wouldn’t be making the same mistakes Asif Zardari made and that I’d be making my very own ones, and sometimes repeating some dear old mistakes. I also told Al-king about the threats to Pakistan’s democracy. Al-king, in his infinite wisdom and magnanimity replied, “O brother! You should be like the Arabian camel — it can go for years without democracy.”
At this point I felt maybe I should now leave the land of sand and go to bloved London. I begged Al-King’s leave and said I needed to go urgently to London. He said, “Mabrook! Ana roha London. We too feel very comfortable in Britain where a recent survey asked the following question: are there too many foreigners in the UK? 18 % said, ‘yes’. 82 % said, “ahlan wa sahlan marhaba’”.
I wished Al-king for his forthcoming birthday and took my leave, “Happy 112th birthday Your Majesty. A few more years and you’ll be older than the rest of the population combined.”
Having passed the test, I went to see Al-king to whom I complained that there’s no money and Pakistan’s jobless figures are mounting. He said, “El-ated I am that at least you dear brother are still hanging on to your job”. I had a copy of this year’s budget in my hand to prove my point. But when Al-King asked what I had in my hand, I said “oh just something trashy that I like reading when I’m on holiday.”
I assured him that I wouldn’t be making the same mistakes Asif Zardari made and that I’d be making my very own ones, and sometimes repeating some dear old mistakes. I also told Al-king about the threats to Pakistan’s democracy. Al-king, in his infinite wisdom and magnanimity replied, “O brother! You should be like the Arabian camel — it can go for years without democracy.”
At this point I felt maybe I should now leave the land of sand and go to bloved London. I begged Al-King’s leave and said I needed to go urgently to London. He said, “Mabrook! Ana roha London. We too feel very comfortable in Britain where a recent survey asked the following question: are there too many foreigners in the UK? 18 % said, ‘yes’. 82 % said, “ahlan wa sahlan marhaba’”.
I wished Al-king for his forthcoming birthday and took my leave, “Happy 112th birthday Your Majesty. A few more years and you’ll be older than the rest of the population combined.”
NS