SUCH GUP

SUCH GUP

Excuses, excuses


All sorts of excuses are being trotted out for why The Great Khan has failed in his duty as head of government to go to Quetta to meet the murdered coal miners’ families. One pretext that is being proffered is that The Boyz have warned The Khan that his security cannot be guaranteed, and that the hazardous journey should not be undertaken. That is simply not true. Sources say The Boyz have done no such thing – that in fact, they have been urging him from Day One to go and condole with the bereaved, urge them to bury the dead and give them financial aid.

The second excuse that is being trotted out is that there was a discussion on the matter, on the day the gruesome murders took place, in The Khan’s inner circle. Some sycophants, sensing their boss’s reluctance to go to the bereaved, spoke rhetorically and asked, “So, does this mean that, if Khan Sahab bows to the demands of these protestors and goes to Quetta, he will have to go all over Pakistan wherever people are killed and their relatives refuse to bury them before he condoles in person?”

That sort of toadying fell on such fertile ground, with The Great Khan lapping it up, that others joined in the chorus, until it was decided that some minions should be sent to calm down the situation. The same minions ended up making a tragic situation worse, with one gent declaring that since he was descended from the Prophet (PBUH), his words should be heeded as commands. “Bury your dead”, he demanded and was met with a resounding rebuff.

The real reason for why The Great Khan is wary of being in the vicinity of corpses has to do with a superstition that is firmly lodged in his mind. It’s bad luck, he’s been told, stay away. And there we have it.

Callousness unabated


If ever there was a callous regime, this is it. In a recent meeting of the ruling cabal, The Sheikh of Lal Haveli was asked about the terrible incident that led to the shooting down of an innocent young man in the capital. He replied callously that such things were “every day occurrences” whereupon he was assailed by two cabinet colleagues who said that that was no answer. The Sheikh swiftly put paid to the discussion by raising his hands to recite the Fateha.