Such Gup

Such Gup

‘Sic erat scriptum’ 


The yellow hordes are at the gates and while we worry about their plans for “surveillance” and “promotion of Chinese culture”, we continue to reap the crop of obscurantism planted in the 1980s. Take this notice from a government college: “It is informed to all [sic] that sitting in pairing [sic] is strictly prohibited in any area of institute. If anybody found in pairing [sic](even in groups) for longer time (more than 4 minutes) [sic] will be fined Rs 1000/- on the spot. If they repeat this miss conduct [sic], their enrolment will be cancelled from university roll [sic] and will only be renewed by the special permission of the Vice Chancellor after paying the enrolment fee (Rs 5000/-). Moreover, Don’t sit in Objectionable Posture [sic] while sitting in groups.”

More of the same


Last week, a musical concert in Lahore was interrupted by vigilantes and the call went out to the local SHO. A recording of the warning shows a clear and present threat: the man gave his name and affiliation and demanded that the concert be stopped. The police official demurred and said the organisers had permission from the DC. The vigilante shouted: “Tell the DC this is not his father’s country (uss kay baap ka mulk naheen hai). This is Pakistan, not India. Stop the concert and report back to me”. The SHO replied meekly, “Ok, ok”.

At it again


Meanwhile, the ruling parties are doing their usual thing. The government is responding to pleas for transparency in CPEC with obduracy, and it’s business as usual. The opposition is undermining itself – Big Ben’s party is afflicted with Hubby; five prominent members are set to defect to The Great Khan. The latter can’t stand up to his head honcho at the frontier. This gent pre-alerted the main accused in the Mishal Khan murder case and sent him packing before the law could get to him. The accused, a councillor of The Khan’s horde, left Pakistan via  Afghanistan and is now said to be in Bangkok. The Khan berated his head honcho and that was that.