As if I am not enough to create catastrophes, while I was away Shbaz Saab went over the brink and Punjab gormint had collective nervous breakdown. It was tragic that Lahore massacre happened in my behind; had I been in Pakistan I would have put a stop to it the minute the TV channels began showing it. Anyways, I received New Year’s Greetings from Chinese premier (it is Chinese New Year), “Merry Crises and a Happy Nuke Year” said the card.
As to who Gullu Butt is who led police charge on Maulana Tahir ul Qadri’s complex – let me tell you he is receptacle businessman, commanding respact in Andarun Shehr Lahore. He is owner of Butt Sweets, Butt Hair Salon, Butt Perfumes, Butt Products and Butt I Have Nothing To Do With The Sharifs Pvt Ltd.
I have heard ISI is starting new TV channel called “MARRO” instead of “GEO”. Here’s a list of their programs:
1. Aaj Yahya Khan Kay Saath.
2. Capital Punishment.
3. Vaapas Ki Baat.
4. Mourning Show.
5. Mera Kaptan.
Lead anchor of MARRO will have bowel movement on prime time every day, at expanse of politicians, rights activists, highest taxpayers and anyone else who falls out of favour. When this anchor is cautioned by the courts, he will take the plea that he can’t help it because he was born under star sign Faeces.
I also visited GHQ and General Bobby was very nice. He asked me if I wanted tea or coffee. He showed me three stand-up machines with interesting panels and all sorts of buttons and levers. One said “COFFEE”, naxt one said, “TEA”, thud one said “NUCLEAR HOLOCAUST”. I chose tea. As we sat down to chat, suddenly, our sofas and chairs started floating up with us on them, like they do in outer space. Gen Bobby shouted to his ADC, “Major! What’s happening?” Major floated out of room and then floated back in, “Sir! Our gravity’s been cut off!” General Bob gave me dirty look. I said, “I’m only in charge of electricity, not gravity!”
As to who Gullu Butt is who led police charge on Maulana Tahir ul Qadri’s complex – let me tell you he is receptacle businessman, commanding respact in Andarun Shehr Lahore. He is owner of Butt Sweets, Butt Hair Salon, Butt Perfumes, Butt Products and Butt I Have Nothing To Do With The Sharifs Pvt Ltd.
I have heard ISI is starting new TV channel called “MARRO” instead of “GEO”. Here’s a list of their programs:
1. Aaj Yahya Khan Kay Saath.
2. Capital Punishment.
3. Vaapas Ki Baat.
4. Mourning Show.
5. Mera Kaptan.
Lead anchor of MARRO will have bowel movement on prime time every day, at expanse of politicians, rights activists, highest taxpayers and anyone else who falls out of favour. When this anchor is cautioned by the courts, he will take the plea that he can’t help it because he was born under star sign Faeces.
I also visited GHQ and General Bobby was very nice. He asked me if I wanted tea or coffee. He showed me three stand-up machines with interesting panels and all sorts of buttons and levers. One said “COFFEE”, naxt one said, “TEA”, thud one said “NUCLEAR HOLOCAUST”. I chose tea. As we sat down to chat, suddenly, our sofas and chairs started floating up with us on them, like they do in outer space. Gen Bobby shouted to his ADC, “Major! What’s happening?” Major floated out of room and then floated back in, “Sir! Our gravity’s been cut off!” General Bob gave me dirty look. I said, “I’m only in charge of electricity, not gravity!”