I love cupboard meetings – or is it cabinet meetings? I love them because everyone agrees with me. Those who don’t can expect a midnight knock on their door. Like last week. I asked my large cabinet, “what is your opinion of my handling of the Kashmir issue?” They all said in unison, “Superb! Superb!” Then I asked, “What is your opinion of my handling of the economy?” They all said in unison, “Superb! Superb!” I continued, “And what is your opinion of my single-minded vendetta against the opposition?” They all said in unison, “Superb! Superb!” I went a step further, “What do you think of my obsession with taking away Nawaz Sharif’s air conditioner?” They all said in unison, “Superb! Superb!” “And my fixation with taking away his television?” They all chanted, “Superb! Superb!” Then I said, “What do you think of his daughter Maryam’s political agenda?” They all said, “Superb! Superb!” I said WHAAAT?!! They all stammered and mumbled and fumbled, “Er, um, terrible, terrible”, they finally said in unison. Eventually, I asked as a final test, “what is two plus two?” They all replied in unison, “whatever you say it is, your highly egomaniacal majesticness”. “That is the correct answer”, I replied, finally satisfied that my cabinet has matured into a wholesome group of yes-men and yes-women.
The next day I called a dars (holy class) of my cabinet and lectured them on Riyasat-e-Medina. One of my ministers, let’s call him Sha The Snake (I have pejorative names for all my ministers) had the temerity to suggest that “the Prophet (PBUH) forgave his enemies for the greater good of Riyasat-e-Medina. What happened to that humanitarian and wise ethos?” At that, I said, the dars is over ladies and gentlemen, you can return to your ministries. The next day I had another dars (holy class) and lectured my cabinet on Riyasat-e-Medina. One of my ministers, let’s call him the Bloated Buffalo, had the temerity to ask, “I don’t want to know what has happened to that humanitarian and wise ethos but I do want to know what has happened to Sha The Snake.”
The next day I called a dars (holy class) of my cabinet and lectured them on Riyasat-e-Medina. One of my ministers, let’s call him Sha The Snake (I have pejorative names for all my ministers) had the temerity to suggest that “the Prophet (PBUH) forgave his enemies for the greater good of Riyasat-e-Medina. What happened to that humanitarian and wise ethos?” At that, I said, the dars is over ladies and gentlemen, you can return to your ministries. The next day I had another dars (holy class) and lectured my cabinet on Riyasat-e-Medina. One of my ministers, let’s call him the Bloated Buffalo, had the temerity to ask, “I don’t want to know what has happened to that humanitarian and wise ethos but I do want to know what has happened to Sha The Snake.”
Im the Dim