Ah, winters in Lahore! I could just go on and on about how much I love this time of the year - the weather, the woolen socks, and yes, even the weddings - but I don’t think words can do justice to how special this season really is. When I was a teenager, winters were all about joining as many after-school tuitions as possible: not so that one could study, but so that one could extort a large sum of money from one’s parents and find the perfect excuse to stay out all day chilling at hookah bars around the city (Chez Nur or Mini Golf, which place did you prefer?). As I grew older and entered my college years, wintertime became even lovelier. It was the time everyone (including myself) came back from college to blow off some steam and attend the weddings of their elder siblings or cousins, and the partying progressed from evening revelry to late-night propaganda and impromptu sleepovers. This year, however, winters aren’t as simply sweet as they used to be. Most of my friends are getting married and leaving me behind to navigate this world on my own.
Now, ladies, I’m going to be straight with you. No matter how excited you may be for your best friend’s wedding, I know it hurts when you feel like you have no prospects of your own. After all, Lahori society has been founded principally on the values of contrast and comparison, and there is no better standard for those Lahori aunties (including your mothers) than your seemingly settled girlfriends (yes, ouch!). Perhaps your younger friends and relatives are cranking out babies. Perhaps everyone around you has found ‘the one’, and you’re already past the age of a decent marriage and may have to settle for a man over thirty (God forbid) or someone who is divorced (or so you are told). No matter what your predicament may be, you should know that there is always a way to deal with it.
Winter and the wedding season are a great time to get your game on, the author would recommend - even if you're not getting married any time soon
One of the greatest delights of the wedding season is attending the functions of your old classmates - it may feel like an obligation at first, but it’s always fun to reconnect with friends who shared your life all the way into your late teens. So, there I was, at Sana’s engagement dinner, awkwardly recounting the last six years of my life and meeting people’s babies. The rings had been exchanged and we were all waiting for dinner when Sana’s older sister burst into the living room where we were seated.
“Girls, I have something very special for those of you who are single! Who wants Sana’s joohta laddu?” she shrieked, holding up the half-eaten golden treat with excitement.
“Why would anyone want a half-eaten laddu?” I turned to ask Abeera, an old classmate who was sitting next to me on the couch.
“Oh, it’s good luck. If you take a bite from the bride’s joohta laddu, then your chances of getting married next go, like, way up.”
Lahori society has been founded principally on the values of contrast and comparison
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Ladies, if you find yourself single in your late twenties, you will most definitely get bombarded with questions about your marital status (and nothing can change that). However, I have learned a few tips and tricks that can really help bring back the unadulterated joy of winter in Lahore.
Invest in yourself. Get your hair extensions and dish out the big bucks for that lehnga you really wanted. You look better when you feel better, and it’s a guaranteed way to get those aunties to focus on how fabulous you are (rather than how single you might be).
Learn to flirt. You may not find ‘the one’, but there really isn’t any harm in diverting a little attention away from the bride and towards yourself (after all, it’s all about the single best-friend).
Dump the toxic waste. Seriously girls, if you’re being held back by the promises of a toxic relationship, get rid of it now. Weddings are a great time to meet single men, and you really don’t want to hold yourself back because of some loser who doesn’t want to give you the respect you deserve ASAP.
Fight the fear. This is perhaps the most important lesson I have learned in my life so far. Ask yourself: why are you so scared to be alone? Now imagine that your fear is your reality, and that you never got married at all. Is there anything that could make you happy, even in your lonely state? Go after that. You can’t control who you’ll meet and when, but you can control the life you’ll be living when you do.
This could be very special, if a bride bit half of it. Right?
“Really? I should probably go and get a bite in that case,” I said, only half-joking.
“I wouldn’t if I were you,” Abeera replied, dead serious.
“Why? You just said it was good luck.”
“Don’t you know? Sana’s parents are forcing her to marry this guy. She couldn’t marry her boyfriend because he was a Shia and she spent three years fighting for him.”
“Oh my god! I feel so bad for her!” I exclaimed, genuinely feeling my heart break a little for a friend I once knew.
“Yes, well, I wouldn’t eat that laddu if I were you,” Abeera replied. “Unless you want to feel that bad for yourself one day, of course.”
