Yesterday Mulloo and Tony came over. Everything was going fine, just a bit of chit-chat, when suddenly Mulloo says: ‘You know that Qandeel Baloch? I’m sorry she’s dead and all but really she was behaving so shamelessly and giving such a bad name to Pakistan.’
I knew immediately what was coming. Janoo, aur kya? Went off like a timed bomb: ‘Taliban, who bomb playgrounds and kill school children don’t give a bad name to Pakistan. Politicians and generals who rob billions and stash them in anonymous bank accounts abroad don’t give a bad name to Pakistan. Yet a poor girl posting some mildly provocative videos of herself on social media in the hope of garnering a bit of fame and fortune brings shame to Pakistan? What kind of screwed up value system do you have, for God’s sake?’ ‘Tony?’ cried Mulloo, ‘are you just going to sit there?’ ‘Don’t you speak to my wife like that,’ said Tony jumping up like a jack in the box. ‘Anyone for coffee?’ I said, also jumping up. ‘It’s foreign ki coffee. I got it from London only. Not like Nescafe Shescafe.’
‘We don’t want anything from a place where we are abused like we were do paisay kay log,’ sniffed Mulloo, ‘chalo, Tony ghar chalien’. ‘Who’s saying you are do paisay kay log?’ I said, making frantic signs and systems at Janoo to apologise. ‘Everyone’s knowing what nice baggrounds you have. Tony’s father tau was a judge and you Mulloo you are er, a TV wallah’s daughter.’
‘My father wasn’t a TV wallah!’ shrieked Mulloo. ‘He was a media executive.’
‘Of course, of course!’ I said. ‘Silly me. He was media executive. And not just an aam media executive but a top ka media executive. No Janoo?’ Thanks God, Janoo finally got up. ‘I’m sorry for raising my voice Mulloo.’
‘Chalo, all’s well that ends in a well,’ said Tony in relieve. ‘Coffee piyein?’
So I told Raheem to bring the London waali coffee and he also brought the packet it came in. Mulloo picked up the packet and said with a sneer: ‘It’s from Sri Lanka only. Not even foreign ka maal!’
I knew immediately what was coming. Janoo, aur kya? Went off like a timed bomb: ‘Taliban, who bomb playgrounds and kill school children don’t give a bad name to Pakistan. Politicians and generals who rob billions and stash them in anonymous bank accounts abroad don’t give a bad name to Pakistan. Yet a poor girl posting some mildly provocative videos of herself on social media in the hope of garnering a bit of fame and fortune brings shame to Pakistan? What kind of screwed up value system do you have, for God’s sake?’ ‘Tony?’ cried Mulloo, ‘are you just going to sit there?’ ‘Don’t you speak to my wife like that,’ said Tony jumping up like a jack in the box. ‘Anyone for coffee?’ I said, also jumping up. ‘It’s foreign ki coffee. I got it from London only. Not like Nescafe Shescafe.’
‘We don’t want anything from a place where we are abused like we were do paisay kay log,’ sniffed Mulloo, ‘chalo, Tony ghar chalien’. ‘Who’s saying you are do paisay kay log?’ I said, making frantic signs and systems at Janoo to apologise. ‘Everyone’s knowing what nice baggrounds you have. Tony’s father tau was a judge and you Mulloo you are er, a TV wallah’s daughter.’
‘My father wasn’t a TV wallah!’ shrieked Mulloo. ‘He was a media executive.’
‘Of course, of course!’ I said. ‘Silly me. He was media executive. And not just an aam media executive but a top ka media executive. No Janoo?’ Thanks God, Janoo finally got up. ‘I’m sorry for raising my voice Mulloo.’
‘Chalo, all’s well that ends in a well,’ said Tony in relieve. ‘Coffee piyein?’
So I told Raheem to bring the London waali coffee and he also brought the packet it came in. Mulloo picked up the packet and said with a sneer: ‘It’s from Sri Lanka only. Not even foreign ka maal!’