See no evil …
Our head of state, the figurehead who lives atop the hill in Isloo, has lost the use of his taste buds, we hear. And this is on account of his life-long paan and gutka habit. Our mole in his house says the gent eats a bowlful of piping hot chillies with every meal, because he can’t taste anything else. Just as well, because his mandate is “See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil” – and taste no evil.
Season of rumours
Tis the season of rumours, which are flying thick and fast. From the Karachi Stock Exchange to the Press Gallery in the National Assembly, from bars and benches everywhere to khokas and dhabas across the land. Three adjudicators have written their orders, they say, while two are mulling over theirs, painstakingly negotiating a minefield of law and politics. The messianic one amongst their lordships wants a unanimous judgment, we hear, which is why it’s taking so long. On the other hand, The Man of Steel has made contingency plans and in case of having to face strictures, will nominate the one who Speaks for us all to occupy his office while he cools his heels in Raiwind. He will also go on the warpath, and take recourse to aggressive rhetoric, “enemies of progress”, “conspirators laying the economy low”, “CPEC interrupted” and so on. And then from the sublime to the ridiculous, a vicious and baseless rumour about a surreptitious nikah between two influentials of the ruling party.
Rift valley
The rift in The Great Khan’s inner sanctum hasn’t healed. If anything, it’s become worse with his old friends and siblings resentful of those they believe have hijacked The Khan and his cause. Maddened by power, The Khan has lost the ability to tell friend from foe and most tragically of all, has hurt his siblings to the extent that they are not on speaking terms with him. His loss.