The Friar’s groceries
It would be laughable, if it weren’t tragic and terrifying. Planned as the denouement of the latest “Get Nawaz” operation, a gherao of a strategically located airport was prepared, sources said. At first we heard that Friar TuQ had been assigned the task of doing the “gherao”. We then learnt that the Friar would be aided and abetted in this worthy mission by Sheeda Tully of Lal Haveli. Then we heard that The Great Khan & Co would come in at the appropriate time to give the final heave-ho.
Then, lo and behold, it was all called off. Suddenly. We sent our mole to ferret out the reasons behind this abrupt change of plan. It appears that there was some apprehension of the neighbourhood heating up. So, Friar TuQ was summoned and told to about turn and backward march. “B-b-b-but I can’t,” stammered the Friar, “I’ve spent millions preparing for this!” According to our mole, the Friar was compensated for his troubles – to the tune of Rs 60 million, it is rumoured – and told to beat it. That’s when the Friar got his return ticket and prepared to fly back to his native land, via London. But dissatisfied with the compensation in lieu of his expenses, he thought he’d try and get a double bonanza. So he called up a local businessman who runs free food kitchens for the poor and asked him to buy the thousands of eggs and loaves of bread and milk cartons and ghee packs and tea and sugar that the Friar had brought along for his foot soldiers. After all, they were going to gherao the airport for God knows how long! The businessman expressed his inability to buy the Friar’s groceries.
It was then Sheeda Tully’s turn to be called in and told to cancel his bit of the airport gherao, followed by The Great Khan & Co, who were also told of the change in plans. Yes sir, no sir, three bags full sir.